23rd August 1951 - 26th May 2021 - 69 years old.
My talk at her funeral.
I
preceded Jane into this world – I was six years old when she was born.
We were each in different stages of development all along our growing up years.
I don’t remember much of her early childhood or mine.
I remember
most when I was eleven and she five.
We moved into our double story home in Florida Park.
We shared our upstairs bedroom on and off for all the years until I married 14 years later.
I wanted to, and went to a far-away boarding school,
she did not beg to go, and attended our local high school.
I went on an 18 month mission when I was 19 and she went after I left home.
From our
bedroom we could gaze far to the North and see
our Voortrekker national monument in Pretoria on a clear day.
We also could see the bright distant glow each night of
Pretoria’s iron and steel foundry.
As we
grew older we shared more and more meaningful time together.
We were often a solemn pair, talking real words and feelings about very real matters.
And… she liked listening on Saturday afternoons to the radio to the popular Hit parade on Saturday afternoons broadcast from Lorenco Marques, the capitol of our neighbouring country Mozambique.
I did not.
So, Saturday afternoons was definitely Jane’s time to have our bedroom all to herself.
Jane has
always loved music.
She learnt to play the piano, and learnt to played well.
We all increasingly loved listening to her practice and play on the piano downstairs.
Our
different stages of life converged as we grew into our young adult and adult
years.
We each
married in due time, moved here and there and
visited in her home or mine when we could.
We’d make the most of our infrequent time together.
When I
think of Jane I think most, of the significant times we enjoyed as we both
became adults.
We generously shared what we learnt about life, and living, with each other.
I recall
two examples of precious concepts I learnt from her:
“(The latter-day prophet) Joseph Smith used to
like to play sports
with the young men in the town of Nauvoo (where they lived.)
He was criticized for doing so, some saying
it was beneath the dignity of the Lord's prophet.
He replied that he was like a bow…
and if a man kept his bow stringed up all the time
it would lose its spring.
It was good to unstring the bow once in a while,
in order to preserve the spring in the bow.”
Jane also shared this quote from CS Lewis was
useful to me: (Mere Christianity)
Imagine yourself as a living
house. God comes in to rebuild that house.
At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing.
He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on;
you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.
But presently He starts knocking the house about
in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense.
What on earth is He up to?
The explanation is that He is building quite a different house
from the one you thought of –
throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there,
running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage:
but He is building a palace.
He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
Jane said she learnt valuable concepts from me too. I’m glad.
We loved adventuring together.
We used to go on adventures with our Dad in our growing up years.
We continued adventuring and exploring as we both became adults.
The years passed and our first daughter moved to England.
Then Jane and Michael moved to join Peter in England.
Then our third daughter and finally our second daughter moved also to live in England with us and our son and his family remaining in South Africa.
We visited when we could, usually about annually, and would enjoy precious time with each of our children in England and Jane and family.
Jane would search out wonderful and interesting places we could visit
and make more memories together.
Jane loved her home and her garden.
As she was able, she spent time and energy in making
her home and garden comfortable and lovely places to be.
She loved colour – that was always a peculiar delight to
her.
We enjoyed sunlight and flowers, trees and scenery
all around us when we were together.
I know they were a source of deep joy to her.
We share our deep-rooted and abiding faith in our Father
in Heaven.
We are both disciples of Jesus Christ.
We have bedrock faith in our having been sent here to earth
from a pre-existence in the presence of God, our Father in Heaven.
We share our deep knowing that we’d come here, to our
parents,
and our children having come to each of us by Divine Design for further Tutoring.
We both fiercely love our families, our children and theirs, on and on.
We both solemnly believe all the things that happen to us
in life
would give us valuable experience and be for our good.
We share our hope and belief that we are making spiritual
progress
as we find and create ways to endure well in our daily, and
more long-term vicissitudes and changes of circumstance.
Some challenges we personally chose, and some were not of our own making,
but were thrust upon us by the choices of others.
I’m grateful Jane was able to be charitable to me.
She was able to charitable, most of the time,
with most of the people she came in contact with.
I thank you each of you who loved her and helped her
along.
Thank you, Peter, for caring for her so well in these last weeks.
Earlier this week I sat in our local Highveld Botanic
Garden
soaking up our winter sunshine, light and the quiet.
I thought about Jane, and about sharing these thoughts with you.
The thirteenth article of our shared Christian faith came
to my mind:
We believe in being honest, true,
chaste, benevolent, virtuous,
and in doing good to all men;
indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—
We believe all things,
we hope all things,
we have endured many things,
and hope to be able to endure all things.
If there is anything virtuous, lovely,
or of good report or praiseworthy,
we seek after these things.
As I thought about each of these qualities mentioned
in this article of our faith,
I know Jane made marvelous progress in each of them.
Honest - She spoke her truth.
True - meaning “Honourable, having integrity,”
Chaste - She honoured her vows of chastity in thought
and deed.
Benevolent - meaning “Well-meaning
and kindly.”
Virtuous - meaning “High moral standards.”
Doing good to all men –
That’s how I know her.
Believe all things –
I knew her as believing of all good and worthy things.
Hope all things – She had high hopes for all
the people she knew
Endured many things – She endured many things
Hope to be able to endure all things –
I believe she endured all things that were
If there is anything
– Yes, she sought for what is good, true and beautiful
We were each in different stages of development all along our growing up years.
I don’t remember much of her early childhood or mine.
We moved into our double story home in Florida Park.
We shared our upstairs bedroom on and off for all the years until I married 14 years later.
I wanted to, and went to a far-away boarding school,
she did not beg to go, and attended our local high school.
I went on an 18 month mission when I was 19 and she went after I left home.
our Voortrekker national monument in Pretoria on a clear day.
We also could see the bright distant glow each night of
Pretoria’s iron and steel foundry.
We were often a solemn pair, talking real words and feelings about very real matters.
And… she liked listening on Saturday afternoons to the radio to the popular Hit parade on Saturday afternoons broadcast from Lorenco Marques, the capitol of our neighbouring country Mozambique.
I did not.
So, Saturday afternoons was definitely Jane’s time to have our bedroom all to herself.
She learnt to play the piano, and learnt to played well.
We all increasingly loved listening to her practice and play on the piano downstairs.
visited in her home or mine when we could.
We’d make the most of our infrequent time together.
We generously shared what we learnt about life, and living, with each other.
with the young men in the town of Nauvoo (where they lived.)
He was criticized for doing so, some saying
it was beneath the dignity of the Lord's prophet.
and if a man kept his bow stringed up all the time
it would lose its spring.
It was good to unstring the bow once in a while,
in order to preserve the spring in the bow.”
At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing.
He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on;
you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.
But presently He starts knocking the house about
in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense.
What on earth is He up to?
The explanation is that He is building quite a different house
from the one you thought of –
throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there,
running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage:
but He is building a palace.
He intends to come and live in it Himself.”
We used to go on adventures with our Dad in our growing up years.
We continued adventuring and exploring as we both became adults.
Then Jane and Michael moved to join Peter in England.
Then our third daughter and finally our second daughter moved also to live in England with us and our son and his family remaining in South Africa.
We visited when we could, usually about annually, and would enjoy precious time with each of our children in England and Jane and family.
Jane would search out wonderful and interesting places we could visit
and make more memories together.
As she was able, she spent time and energy in making
her home and garden comfortable and lovely places to be.
We enjoyed sunlight and flowers, trees and scenery
all around us when we were together.
I know they were a source of deep joy to her.
We are both disciples of Jesus Christ.
We have bedrock faith in our having been sent here to earth
from a pre-existence in the presence of God, our Father in Heaven.
and our children having come to each of us by Divine Design for further Tutoring.
We both fiercely love our families, our children and theirs, on and on.
would give us valuable experience and be for our good.
as we find and create ways to endure well in our daily, and
more long-term vicissitudes and changes of circumstance.
Some challenges we personally chose, and some were not of our own making,
but were thrust upon us by the choices of others.
She was able to charitable, most of the time,
with most of the people she came in contact with.
Thank you, Peter, for caring for her so well in these last weeks.
soaking up our winter sunshine, light and the quiet.
I thought about Jane, and about sharing these thoughts with you.
chaste, benevolent, virtuous,
and in doing good to all men;
indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—
We believe all things,
we hope all things,
we have endured many things,
and hope to be able to endure all things.
If there is anything virtuous, lovely,
or of good report or praiseworthy,
we seek after these things.
I know Jane made marvelous progress in each of them.
Endured many things – She endured many things
in and around her…
Virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy
– these are amongst what she
And now…
she precedes us into wherever and whatever lies beyond our days,
our months and years we have left here.
When we follow her we shall know as she now knows,
and see as she now sees.
I hope
each of us will pause regularly,
and examine our lives, and take them seriously.
I invite each of us to relish and cherish each precious day we are privileged to enjoy.
None of us actually knows when our last day here will be.
As
Stephen Grellett, the French-American Quaker missionary, once said:
“I shall pass through this world but once.
Any good therefore that I can do
or any kindness that I can show to any human being,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.”
King Benjamin was a Book of Mormon Prophet.
He gave a grand and mighty sermon to his people
she precedes us into wherever and whatever lies beyond our days,
our months and years we have left here.
When we follow her we shall know as she now knows,
and see as she now sees.
and examine our lives, and take them seriously.
I invite each of us to relish and cherish each precious day we are privileged to enjoy.
None of us actually knows when our last day here will be.
Any good therefore that I can do
or any kindness that I can show to any human being,
let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it,
for I shall not pass this way again.”
He gave a grand and mighty sermon to his people
around 124 years
before the birth of Jesus Christ.
I quote the end part of his sermon in which he admonished
them so long ago:
27 … see that all these things are done in wisdom and aorder;
that thereby he might win the prize;
therefore, all things must be done in order.
28 … I would that ye should remember,
according as he doth agree, or else thou shalt commit sin;
and perhaps thou shalt cause thy neighbor to commit sin also.
29 And finally,
whereby ye may commit sin;
for there are divers ways and means,
even so many that I cannot number them.
30 But this much I can
tell you,
and observe the commandments of God,
and dcontinue in the faith of what ye have heard
even unto the end of your lives,
ye must perish.
And now, O man, remember, and perish not.” Mosiah 4:27-30
That Jesus, of whose coming King Benjamin prophesied
124 years before his birth, came…
and that Jesus invited
“Come unto Me all ye who labour and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28
That Jesus also told his followers
“A new commandment I give unto you,
That ye love one another;
as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” John 13:34
In latter-day scripture I believe that same Jesus continues to
speak to us -
He says
“He that is faithful and endureth shall overcome the world.” D&C 63:47
The world… our challenges here…
And that same Jesus continued in the same 63rd section of
latter-day revelation
“These things remain to (be) overcome through patience… “ D&C 63:66
Jane’s journey and challenges here in mortality have mercifully
ended.
She’s sorry to leave Mike, Jodi and her grandchildren behind I know.
She told me so.
While she lived here
I believe she remembered and acted on King Benjamin’s words,
and Jesus’ earlier and latter words,
and now she is making her way on the journey each of us will also take in due time.
The rest of today, the 18th of June 2021, is ours to delight
in and use profitably, or squander.
We are each unique, special and irreplaceable.
So is everyone around us utterly unique, special in some way or other, and irreplaceable.
Each of us has an individual life with various relationships.
May we love one another patiently.
We’ll soon leave this meeting where we bid farewell to Jane.
We’ll go into our life as it is now.
May we find Christlike ways to be honest, true, chaste, and benevolent.
May we find the virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy
all around us every day.
May we watch ourselves, and our thoughts, words and deeds.
May we come unto Jesus the Christ.
And… when we labour and are heavy laden, may we truly know His rest.
May we be faithful, and endure our particular challenges well.
May we overcome in our individual “worlds,” all that is ours to learn about and master.
May we in our own due time make our way into what lies beyond our
present mortal imaginings.
May we peacefully and confidently follow Jane back to the presence
of our Father in Heaven and His Son.
May we be able to gladly account for the time we spent here
as we come into Their realm of greater light,
deeper love and continuing comprehension and learning.
May we leave a worthy and worthwhile legacy for those
in our circles of love, interest and concern,
as Jane has.
I share these things in the name of Jesus Christ whose disciple I
am,
even that Jesus Christ whom I earnestly try every day to know a little better,
and whom, most of the time, I try my best to follow…
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen
that thereby he might win the prize;
therefore, all things must be done in order.
according as he doth agree, or else thou shalt commit sin;
and perhaps thou shalt cause thy neighbor to commit sin also.
whereby ye may commit sin;
for there are divers ways and means,
even so many that I cannot number them.
and observe the commandments of God,
and dcontinue in the faith of what ye have heard
even unto the end of your lives,
ye must perish.
And now, O man, remember, and perish not.” Mosiah 4:27-30
124 years before his birth, came…
“Come unto Me all ye who labour and are heavy laden,
and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28
“A new commandment I give unto you,
That ye love one another;
as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” John 13:34
He says
“He that is faithful and endureth shall overcome the world.” D&C 63:47
The world… our challenges here…
“These things remain to (be) overcome through patience… “ D&C 63:66
She’s sorry to leave Mike, Jodi and her grandchildren behind I know.
She told me so.
I believe she remembered and acted on King Benjamin’s words,
and Jesus’ earlier and latter words,
and now she is making her way on the journey each of us will also take in due time.
So is everyone around us utterly unique, special in some way or other, and irreplaceable.
Each of us has an individual life with various relationships.
May we love one another patiently.
We’ll go into our life as it is now.
And… when we labour and are heavy laden, may we truly know His rest.
May we overcome in our individual “worlds,” all that is ours to learn about and master.
of our Father in Heaven and His Son.
May we be able to gladly account for the time we spent here
as we come into Their realm of greater light,
deeper love and continuing comprehension and learning.
in our circles of love, interest and concern,
as Jane has.
even that Jesus Christ whom I earnestly try every day to know a little better,
and whom, most of the time, I try my best to follow…
