Who Has been Particularly Kind to Me?

I love new beginnings!

A new day, an new week.

I count my blessings…

My back is not as sore as it has been for… six months…

That sure is a great blessing to me!

It’s been a hard couple of weeks with my back…

The days go by and I’m content – most of the time…

When I get cabin-fever I take a ride and see something different.

I’m grateful to be able to have a change of scenery.

I’m grateful the Botanic Garden is open again.

(Actually I discovered it isn't... it'll be open in August.)

I’ll be heading there soon.

It’s been closed for months – so I’ll wait for the rush to die down.

We have load-shedding again – the power is going off at 8 this evening.

It will come on again at 30 minutes past midnight.

That means… no electric blanket!

So – sheet shock!

Ah well… this too shall pass!

My Focus 2020 pondering continues…

Read on if you are interested…

I love you!

Mom / Judy

FOCUS – written a couple of days ago…

Here goes!

Who has been particularly kind to me?  How has this changed my life?

Not many people I know, know how to be what feels kind to me.

Kind I like… pity I do not…

I remember in one training session saying “Don’t pity me…”

I wonder why I am so resistant to being pitied.

I do NOT like being pitied.

The kind ones…

A few names come up over and over:  Sylvia Poss (my FAMSA trainer,)

Chris Golden (one of my ecclesiastical leaders,)

Carole Morrison (My friend with whom I’ve shared more about myself than any other,)

my Dad (who amazes me over and over as I find things he gave me, and did for me,)

my sister Jane, my brothers Tim, Les and Ron (who know me the longest of anyone alive.)

At times my children have felt, still feel, exceedingly kind and compassionate to me.

(They know me intimately…)

My husband feels kind and considerate to me.  I am grateful.

Interesting that the same ones who have felt/feel very kind to me are also the ones

who have also been able to/can hurt me in ways that have felt mortally wounding.

Interesting too that the ones I have felt were/are cruel and punishing to me

have also been the ones who have felt/are exceedingly kind to me at other times.

I remember a training session I attended in which we were asked

to list the people who have hurt us on one half of our piece of paper.

And then, on the other half of the same page, the names of the people who have helped us…

with the comment “You may find that the same people appear in both lists.”

True…  Instructive.

I’m grateful to have people I can count on.

Not always the same ones, but when I need someone I can count on,

I can find several to choose from.

“All these things shall give thee experience and be for thy good.” comes to my mind.

What an education!

Every relationship is in our life is for us to learn something about ourselves.

Also about others… and about life, the world.

I’m reminded over and over of the truth of that.

I hope I learn the lessons I need to learn – fast!  Eventually!

I’m interested that I keep on learning!

I’ve learnt about myself “I’ll give you more chances than you deserve…

but, when I’m done, I’m done.”  I’ll walk away, not needing to look back.

No regrets… I gave it all I knew how to give.

I’m really grateful to those who are able, have been able, to be what feels kind to me.

It’s blessed me, my life, and softened my heart, made me more human, more relatable.

Who has been particularly kind to you?  How has this changed your life?

What or who do I need to resist?  How can I do this effectively – and graciously?

Actually, I hardly ever feel the need to resist anything or anyone anymore.

I can be in their presence and not feel bullied or enticed.

I feel like what I don’t want just flows past me, away from me.

I don’t often feel “tempted” and the need to consciously resist.

I used to…  it has been hard at times, and very hard on occasion.

Substances, behaviours, people…  they’ve got under my skin in the past.

My life is simpler now, there aren’t the provocations and close contact with

some people and circumstances that I needed to have in the past.

They were instructive to me – of what I wanted and what I DIDN’T want!

How I wanted to be and how I DIDN’T want to be.

I understand myself, others and ‘life’ more these days.

I understand better who I uniquely am.

I understand better what I want.

I also understand more who and what I don’t want.

I’m able to “stay away” and “govern myself” more effectively.

I also know how to “go to” and say “No” to myself and others.

And – I keep on learning!

I hope I’m gracious and respectful about it…

I try to be.

I try to accord other people the courtesy I like to receive.

I hope I succeed more often than I used to be able to.

I’ve discovered the vocabulary and tones of voice that feel like they “fit” me.

I know what food I like to eat, and what my body likes,

what helps me function as best as I can.

I’ve discovered what colours and clothes I like to wear, that feel like “me.”

I’ve discovered how and where I like to live.

I’ve discovered how I want to spend my hours, my days, my life.

I’ve discovered the median pace I like to live.

I know what I like to read, listen to and watch, and what I don’t.

I’ve discovered who my friends are –

the ones that can be with me through thick and thin, sick and sin.

I’m enjoying the great adventure of my life.

I don’t actually know from day to day where my journey will take me…

And – I like that…  I do not like to be bored.

I do not like to be stuck in a rut.

I do not like to feel helpless, purposeless, wasting my time, my life!

 What or Who do you need to resist… How can you do it effectively and graciously?...

 Sometimes graciously has to go out the window... The resistance just needs to be done!

J