Where Do I Go For Answers?

Sunday Afternoon - August 2nd 2020

I go lots of places to find my answers.

I’ve gone inside myself and outside of myself to find what I needed.

I’ve needed answers in my life.

Some of my challenges have been complex and long-standing.

Sometimes I resort to prayer, reading the scriptures and fasting.

Sometimes I ask for a priesthood blessing.

Sometimes I’ve heard a voice speaking to me.

Sometimes I ‘consult’ noted authorities of the day through their writings and sharings.

Sometimes I visit with a doctor or other professional.

Sometimes I spend time with someone I know, including the younger ones I know!

Sometimes the groups I’ve joined provide me with valuable answers – and support.

Sometimes I just sit quietly, or walk, and think, think, think.

Working in the garden is a good time to ponder something that puzzles me.

Sometimes an answer comes to me in a dream.

Sometimes answers “come” to me, I just become aware of them.

I call that being Taught From On High.

Sometimes an answer becomes apparent to me - and I didn’t know I was looking for it!

I’ve come to know things by listening or watching others, listening to the radio or watching TV, movies or other media.

Sometimes my answers come when I’m reading, or writing, or making a collage.

My journals help me sort things out sometimes.

Some answers come whole, some in pieces of a puzzle I build..

How do I know I’ve received an answer?

I feel a flash of pure intelligence, an “Ah Ha” moment, or a quiet recognizing.

Sometimes I just feel deeply grateful, a delicious delight, an amazed awareness.

Usually I need to not be rushed or desperate for my answer!

I’ve learnt to be patient…

One answer came to me after 30 years of asking…

In what ways is this process, strategy, good for me, or not good for me?

I’ve learnt from experience when I’m on the wrong path for me…

I’ve learnt to not be intimidated, ashamed, proud or stubborn – most of the time.

I’ve learnt to make the changes I need to make sooner rather than later.

I save myself a lot of anxiety and heartache if I respond to my answers timeously!

I’m still looking for some answers…

I have no doubt I’ll recognize them when they come.

In the meantime, I continue with faith in my every footstep.

I continue to seek for everything virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy.

I’ve endured many things and hope to endure all things that are mine to endure.

I'm a disciple of Jesus the Christ.

I’ve sought in faith and commitment for truth, wisdom, courage, serenity, dignity and grace.

I’ve made progress!

I’ll carry on, carry on, carry on.

Where do you go for your answers?

And – in what ways is this good/not good for you? 

Who/What Do I Put Myself Out For?

Sunday Afternoon - June 28^th 2020 

Glenn went for hopefully his final kidney stone surgery…

He says he feels much better…

I continue with the chiropractor – that feels helpful…

I’ve discovered that a hot water bottle on my back is very nice and soothing.

Hopefully whatever was ‘out’ is settling into new comfort.

On Friday I had a foot reflexology session – that felt very good for me!

On Saturday I woke with no pain at all.  That lasted until mid-day,

then the hot water bottle and resting helped.

And so we continue – basking in our sunny spare room for as long

as the sun is there, and then putting on heaters when it is cold.

Who do I put myself out for?   Is this good for them?  For me?

I put myself out for various people and occasions.

I do it as much as I can without resentment.

When I feel taken advantage of, or stretching beyond my limits

I know how to excuse myself and take care of myself and replenish my reserves.

I know more about not enabling people to be able to be their less-than better self.

Around me at any rate.

I read a book about “Women Who Love Too Much” once upon a time…

That was an important read for me.

By the way: There are men who love too much too.

We can love too much for our own good, and love too much for their good.

Occasionally I need to “just keep going,” and I can do that still.

I know I will need down time afterwards, time to recoup, recover.

No-one can “run on empty” beyond a certain point.

And it’s been interesting and instructive to realize I can actually

do more than I thought I could sometimes.

I’ve learnt over the years what I can and cannot do, must and must not do, and just will not do.

I’ve learnt to manage myself better and better.

I’ve learnt that most things do not need to be done in an urgent fashion.

Well… not things that are still in my life anyway!

Reducing my commitments has been a part of my life for a long time.

There are times and seasons I have learnt.

I have discovered I can’t do it all.  I don’t want to do it all.

I’ve discovered I don’t want it all.  Sufficient for my needs is sufficient for me.

I have discovered I can have it all, all that I want; just not all at the same time.

It’s “Time to relax and enjoy the journey!” Every Day!

A long time ago a friend of my parents, Shirley Murrish, shared a moment with me.

“Judy, my husband and I were going to do this grand trip when he retired.

Two years before he retired he had a stroke and the trip couldn’t happen anymore.

If something is important to you, don’t put it off.”

And a useful short story I read – to this effect: 

A young couple always wanted to travel in a camper-van.

The husband also wanted to teach seminary.

A seminary salary would not afford a regular campervan.

So they bought an old VW Kombi, stripped the insides out and

gradually turned it into a comfortable campervan.

They thoroughly enjoyed their project!

And in it they had many an interesting and adventurous excursion in their van.

Moral:  If you can’t afford what you’d ideally like, find a way to “do/have it” anyway –

in a manner that you can afford!

I’ve done lots that I wanted to do – in a manner that I could afford

in terms of time, talent and means!

I’m grateful.

So, I hope I’ve increasingly achieved a more and more equitable balance

between meeting the needs of others, and my own as well.

I’ve had to determine my honest and realistic circle of interest, and concern.

I simply can’t do and be all things to all people.

I’m grateful for my life.

I love living in these abundant and exciting days!

I regret few choices I have made through the years.

I’ve forgiven myself for what I could not know/do when I needed to know/do it.

I’ve forgiven others for not being able to be/do what I thought they could be/do.

When I have known better, most of the time I’ve done better.

I’ve changed what I can.

I’ve let go of trying to change anyone else.

I’ve discovered it’s important to mind (take care of) my own business (life and choices)

and let others mind (take care of, or not) their business.

I can appreciate myself and them for who we are each able to be –

Unique and individual, special and irreplaceable.

 “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, 

I seek after those things.”

There’s plenty in and around all of us to find.

Who/What do you put yourself out for?

Is it good for you?  Them?

I love you!

Mom / Judy / Gran Judy

Changes I've Made That I Am Proud Of

Sunday afternoon – June 7^th 2020 – Changes I’m Proud Of

It’s been a week of attending to medical and physical issues and resting - lots.

On Monday I finally phoned the chiropractor. 

During our settling in when we moved back I developed a sore back.

First it was “So much to do…”

Then I phoned the chiropractor – “He’s closed already for the year…”

I found another close to home.

And in two visits he couldn’t attend to the trouble spot.

And - he was too rough for me to go back.

Then it was lock-down…

So I’ve needed to lie down and rest… a lot on some days… to manage my discomfort.

And this week of level 3 lock-down starting “It’s time…!”

I phoned the chiropractor I’ve been going to for years.

Yes, he’s working again.

“Bring your own gown.  We’re not allowed to give out gowns here at the moment.”

So I visited on Monday.  He got the spot.

I still needed lots of rest though.

And again on Thursday I made the 12km trip to Blackheath again.

I’m enjoying daily-increasing ease.

What a relief!

And…  a sty has formed again…  I had a host of them in 2019 in KZN.  nuisance…

And Glenn’s been visiting doctors too – three visits this week.

He phoned the diabetic doctor – she couldn’t see him until the middle of the week.

So he phoned the GP.  He could see him on Monday.

He saw his GP again later in the week for a follow-up appointment.

And in the middle of the week he visited the diabetic doctor.

We hope all visits prove to be helpful…

Hopefully he’ll also find his way to more comfortable physical functioning.

We’re fearfully and wonderfully “made” aren’t we!

I’m grateful for Doctors when we need them!

I’m grateful for every day of more comfortable getting around

and doing what I want to do and need to do.

What changes have I made that I’m proud of? 

How/in what way was it hard/easy to change?

I feel like I’ve always wanted to be better and wiser.

Less wasting my time, more relishing and cherishing each day.

I’ve felt like an adventurer, an explorer in a way.

I feel I’m on a hero’s journey with all its vicissitudes.

But, on the other hand I want to enjoy the journey too…

I want to go at a pace I want to go, and have some fun too.

Well, what I call fun…  I like to read and learn every day.

And pause to wonder and wander along the way.

Appreciate the light and gorgeous colours of the day,

and the wonderful textures and dancing shadows…

When I wake up in the morning and open the curtains I say “Hello Day!”

I’m grateful for my life. 

I love living now. 

I’m glad to be able to find out many things I want to know.

I’m amazed to be so fortunate in my life. 

I want to use my personal gifts and talents to help others along as I’m able.

I’m thankful for those brave, wise and generous souls who’ve walked alongside me when I needed them, and known how to lift and enlighten me momentarily, and sensed when to withdraw and let me carry on learning in my own way, and living my life.

If I have to choose the one change I’ve made that I’m proud of…  It’s the progress in myself I am aware of by daily dipping into the Addiction Recovery Program material.  I’m aware of the inner journey I’ve been able to be a part of.  I’m grateful for the honesty and vulnerability of those who compiled the material.  I’ve valued the few opportunities I’ve had to attend recovery meetings. 

Has it been hard… or easy? Neither really.  It just felt like it “fit” me in so many ways I couldn’t put into words.  I’ve just chosen to continuously reflect on the outlined principles, and worked at it a paragraph or two at a time almost every day since 2006.  Better later in my life than never!

As I reflect on my one individual life I get to live, and love to live, I’m reminded of the poem “One Solitary Life.”  I’m glad for His Solitary Life lived to His end with integrity.  I choose to be His disciple.  I hope I’ll be able to live my one precious life with increasing integrity.  I feel like I’m making progress…

And thank you Mother Teresa for reminding me how I want to live my one precious life for as long as I am able…  And I don’t really want to be in the lime-light.  And perhaps if I wasn't I might want to be…  How individual, interesting and complex we each are!  

What changes have you made that your're proud of?

I love you!

Mom / Judy / Gran Judy

Hermann Karl Hesse (2 July 1877 – 9 August 1962) was a German-born Swiss poet, novelist, and painter. His best-known works include his explorations of an individual's search for authenticity, self-knowledge and spirituality. In 1946, he received the Nobel Prize in Literature.

Vicissitudes: unpredictable changes or variations that keep occurring in life, fortune, etc; shifting circumstances; ups and downs.

https://addictionrecovery.churchofjesuschrist.org/bc/content/arp/content/manuals/ARPGuide_English_36764.pdf

James Allan Francis was an early-twentieth century American pastor who authored a handful of books.

He is also the “anonymous” author who stands behind the famous poem, “One Solitary Life.” 

Mother Mary Teresa Bojaxhiu (26 August 1910 – 5 September 1997), honoured in the Catholic Church as Saint Teresa of Calcutta, was an Albanian-Indian Roman Catholic nun and missionary. She was born in Skopje (now the capital of North Macedonia), then part of the Ottoman Empire. After living in Skopje for eighteen years, she moved to Ireland and then to India, where she lived for most of her life.

Six Weeks Down - And I'm On My Way

During the week I reached a stage of irritation with the splint discomfort so I took the splint out and bandage off for some relief, some air.  I sat in the sunporch and allowed the warmth to seep into my wrist.  The irritation subsided and comfortableness increased.

I decided since we were home for the evening I'd just fairly firmly bandage it and be careful.  That was so good.  I decided to sleep with it like that.  That was also so good.  Wednesday I just carried on.  I looked on the internet for rehabilitation exercises, saw the consensus and have started gentle exercising.

This time last week I would never have imagined I would have the strength I have or the movement I have already!  I am absolutely grateful to all the powers involved from this and the other side of the veil.  I am very grateful for those ones here and there who put information on the internet for such as me to be able to see.  They truly bless my life every week.

Yesterday I went to the Temple and then to the hairdresser.  By the time I got home the tickets were booked and we are on our way soon.  We now flurry to tie up loose ends here!  The packing is the easy part!

I want to tell you about my three best inanimate helpers of the last six weeks:  Three satiny scarves.  I hardly ever use them normally, but have used them daily the last six weeks. Their colours are bright pink, bright yellow and soft grey.  They gladden my heart!  I keep one in the bathroom, one near where I dress and one in my Temple bag.  I put one over my half cast/wrist brace/bandaged wrist, pull sleeves off or on with care and have felt little discomfort.  The sleeves simply slip over them, and then I pull the scarves off my arm and they slip easily over any device I have on.  What a blessing.

On This Thanksgiving Day -

I am very thankful for the internet.

We are having a Thanksgiving Dinner this evening at Doug and Nadia's home.
All family and our tenants are invited.
My job is to make pumpkin pie for 30 people.

I went to the internet, copied, pasted and printed three pumpkin pie recipes
on one sheet of paper, compared them and made my decision as to which I would use.

Then it was "What is half and half?"
"What is 12 oz in grams?"
"What is cardomon?"
"What is a substitute for cardomon?"

Click-click... and there are lots of answers and I get to choose
which site I will look at.

Happy Thanksgiving my loved-ones!
Today is the 27th. 
I am going to list twenty seven things I am thankful for.
Do join me?
What will be on your list of what you are thankful for?

I have decided to try and make the filling on the stove like I do with melktert.
I have kept half the cinnamon in the recipe to sprinkle on the top of the fillings. 
I'll let you know how it turns out.  These are my pie shells ready for their filling. 
The next three are in the oven now. (7am) 
One batch of filling made and poured into the pie shells.
I will take a pie to our writing group and see how they enjoy it.