2022 - Glenn and Judy History - Week 5

On holiday in Hibberdene 

in Natal then, Kwa Zulu Natal now.

1978

Douglas

Angela

Dianne

And Gillian was born 3rd December 1978.

Glenn and Judy

Gillian

Who Has been Particularly Kind to Me?

I love new beginnings!

A new day, an new week.

I count my blessings…

My back is not as sore as it has been for… six months…

That sure is a great blessing to me!

It’s been a hard couple of weeks with my back…

The days go by and I’m content – most of the time…

When I get cabin-fever I take a ride and see something different.

I’m grateful to be able to have a change of scenery.

I’m grateful the Botanic Garden is open again.

(Actually I discovered it isn't... it'll be open in August.)

I’ll be heading there soon.

It’s been closed for months – so I’ll wait for the rush to die down.

We have load-shedding again – the power is going off at 8 this evening.

It will come on again at 30 minutes past midnight.

That means… no electric blanket!

So – sheet shock!

Ah well… this too shall pass!

My Focus 2020 pondering continues…

Read on if you are interested…

I love you!

Mom / Judy

FOCUS – written a couple of days ago…

Here goes!

Who has been particularly kind to me?  How has this changed my life?

Not many people I know, know how to be what feels kind to me.

Kind I like… pity I do not…

I remember in one training session saying “Don’t pity me…”

I wonder why I am so resistant to being pitied.

I do NOT like being pitied.

The kind ones…

A few names come up over and over:  Sylvia Poss (my FAMSA trainer,)

Chris Golden (one of my ecclesiastical leaders,)

Carole Morrison (My friend with whom I’ve shared more about myself than any other,)

my Dad (who amazes me over and over as I find things he gave me, and did for me,)

my sister Jane, my brothers Tim, Les and Ron (who know me the longest of anyone alive.)

At times my children have felt, still feel, exceedingly kind and compassionate to me.

(They know me intimately…)

My husband feels kind and considerate to me.  I am grateful.

Interesting that the same ones who have felt/feel very kind to me are also the ones

who have also been able to/can hurt me in ways that have felt mortally wounding.

Interesting too that the ones I have felt were/are cruel and punishing to me

have also been the ones who have felt/are exceedingly kind to me at other times.

I remember a training session I attended in which we were asked

to list the people who have hurt us on one half of our piece of paper.

And then, on the other half of the same page, the names of the people who have helped us…

with the comment “You may find that the same people appear in both lists.”

True…  Instructive.

I’m grateful to have people I can count on.

Not always the same ones, but when I need someone I can count on,

I can find several to choose from.

“All these things shall give thee experience and be for thy good.” comes to my mind.

What an education!

Every relationship is in our life is for us to learn something about ourselves.

Also about others… and about life, the world.

I’m reminded over and over of the truth of that.

I hope I learn the lessons I need to learn – fast!  Eventually!

I’m interested that I keep on learning!

I’ve learnt about myself “I’ll give you more chances than you deserve…

but, when I’m done, I’m done.”  I’ll walk away, not needing to look back.

No regrets… I gave it all I knew how to give.

I’m really grateful to those who are able, have been able, to be what feels kind to me.

It’s blessed me, my life, and softened my heart, made me more human, more relatable.

Who has been particularly kind to you?  How has this changed your life?

What or who do I need to resist?  How can I do this effectively – and graciously?

Actually, I hardly ever feel the need to resist anything or anyone anymore.

I can be in their presence and not feel bullied or enticed.

I feel like what I don’t want just flows past me, away from me.

I don’t often feel “tempted” and the need to consciously resist.

I used to…  it has been hard at times, and very hard on occasion.

Substances, behaviours, people…  they’ve got under my skin in the past.

My life is simpler now, there aren’t the provocations and close contact with

some people and circumstances that I needed to have in the past.

They were instructive to me – of what I wanted and what I DIDN’T want!

How I wanted to be and how I DIDN’T want to be.

I understand myself, others and ‘life’ more these days.

I understand better who I uniquely am.

I understand better what I want.

I also understand more who and what I don’t want.

I’m able to “stay away” and “govern myself” more effectively.

I also know how to “go to” and say “No” to myself and others.

And – I keep on learning!

I hope I’m gracious and respectful about it…

I try to be.

I try to accord other people the courtesy I like to receive.

I hope I succeed more often than I used to be able to.

I’ve discovered the vocabulary and tones of voice that feel like they “fit” me.

I know what food I like to eat, and what my body likes,

what helps me function as best as I can.

I’ve discovered what colours and clothes I like to wear, that feel like “me.”

I’ve discovered how and where I like to live.

I’ve discovered how I want to spend my hours, my days, my life.

I’ve discovered the median pace I like to live.

I know what I like to read, listen to and watch, and what I don’t.

I’ve discovered who my friends are –

the ones that can be with me through thick and thin, sick and sin.

I’m enjoying the great adventure of my life.

I don’t actually know from day to day where my journey will take me…

And – I like that…  I do not like to be bored.

I do not like to be stuck in a rut.

I do not like to feel helpless, purposeless, wasting my time, my life!

 What or Who do you need to resist… How can you do it effectively and graciously?...

 Sometimes graciously has to go out the window... The resistance just needs to be done!

J

Lasting Influence

Sunday Afternoon March 29^th 2020 

I was reading this week in the Book of Mormon about Enos and how he went hunting, and remembered the words his father said…

This morning I was saying to Glenn “I miss my relationship with my Dad… He often would make comments that really made me think differently.”

He once said “Judy is our night-time perambulator…”  in the most natural and matter of fact way.  No criticism or praise...  That helped me see who I was in his eyes.  I still perambulate in the night-time sometimes… I guess that’s just a part of who I am.  I realized I get alone-time in the night when others are sleeping.  Of course… there is a price to pay – now I give myself a break then next day when I’ve been awake during the night.  Night time is also very good undisturbed thinking time.

He once asked me “Do you ever think about the person you are speaking to on the phone? … where they are while you are talking, what they’re doing…”  No – I never thought that before… Now I sometimes do.

I’m glad he was my Dad.  We spent some very good times together.  We made some good memories  when we reasonably could – considering his life and mine.  I’m glad I had no regrets when he died.  I meaningfully visited with him every week – by letter, phone call or actual visit.

I’m grateful for those I choose to live with.  I’m grateful for my husband.  We are so very different, and between the two of us we’ve knocked off some rough edges and made a good and peaceful life together.  I hope our children feel and come to appreciate the benefit of who and what we were able to be along our individual and family journeys when we were raising them.  Some families walk a dangerous walk together, some a disastrous.  We chose the risk of working out our differences and problems whilst staying together.  It was potentially greatly refining for both of us, and each of our children.  No going back and changing anything… onward, ever onward we go…

There were others who blessed and influenced me along the way.  All of them imperfect, I could identify their flaws easily… nevertheless each was a comfort, an encouragement, a teacher and a blessing to me on my journey to increasing maturity.

My heavenly Father – Thank You for your patience with and trust in me.

I’m discovering more and more, about what really matters most, every day.

There’s so much to learn!  I’m delighted I’ll never run out of things to learn!

My family of origin.  They have known me for the longest time of my life.

Lionel Bibb - he blessed his own family, and me too.

My husband.  I discovered in my studies, unless we learn better, we 'instinctively' choose who we need to learn from and with.  Usually someone ‘like’ the parent we had the most challenge with.  We get to figure out as an adult what we could not when we were children in our original circumstances.

Douglas, Angela, Dianne and Gillian.  I’ve learnt so much from and with you.  I believe you agreed to come to us and ‘help’ us along as we ‘help’ you along. You also ‘know’ me inside and out.

Our extended families – I appreciate the new dimensions and experiences you bring into my life.

I’m grateful Glenn and our children haven’t given up on me.  Thank you.

Sylvia Poss – my main FAMSA trainer - for many years.

Linda Brown – a significant turning-point FAMSA trainer.

My LifeLine trainers - also over many years.

Chris Golden – our home teacher, then our Stake President.

A senior missionary Sister at the Missionary Training Centre – I don’t remember her name.

She told me about a moment in her relationship with her husband. 

She said she had occasion to say to him  “If you can’t and don’t appreciate me, you’ll lose me.”

The scriptures, and teachers, and commentators on the scriptures.

General Conference and other church leaders talks.

Many, many church talks and classes through many years.

The church magazines, and other good magazines.

Many authors of books I have been blessed to learn from – either in formal- or self-study.

I continue to learn.  Every day!  Amazing!

I continue to choose to become more and more my unique, special and irreplaceable self.

I continue to live the best way I know how, every day, for most of it, almost all the time.

I’m not perfect yet…

I still have a long way to go.

And - I’m a whole lot more mature than I was able to be earlier in my life.

Thank you each for the good I have gleaned from each of you.

Thank you all those who have not given up on me.

Whose words have had a lasting influence on you?

I love you.

Mom / Judy

Now that watermelon is scarce…

Delicious and nutritious papaya and banana!

Sunday Afternoon - April 7th and 14th - Health

A few days until Glenn is 70 and I am 74.  Sobering…

Interesting – I don’t feel old.  But my mother at my age was old.

To what do I attribute feeling well and healthy – most of the time…

There is a young sister in our Ward who interests me.

This morning I said to her “I’m curious… What are you studying?”

“Physiotherapy.” She said “If you have any problems come and see me…”

Quick as a wink I said “Actually… I don’t have physical problems…”

”How do you do that?” she asked.

“I’ve changed my diet, and I do Tai Chi.” I replied.

“Ah… you live healthily…” she replied with a smile.

Afterwards I thought “And I’ve discovered Kinesiology and aromatherapy massage.”

When I need to surrender my body to the ministrations of another I ponder on

what I need and give it to myself.

It works for me, I am thankful to say…

Gillian sent me some info about the FODMAPS perspective.

I briefly looked into it – we had a visitor this afternoon.

I will look at it more carefully when I am able.

So much is available to us these days!

I love living now!

I try to live physically healthily.

I feel better when I do.

Actually… when Weightwatchers ceased to be here in South Africa, I thought

“I can do this on my own…”  I’ve been a WeightWwatcher for… very long.

In a matter of two months I realized “I don’t want to do this on my own…”

I found out where WeighLess classes are – not far from where we stay.

I went and joined.

Very good for me to co-operate in that responsibility with

people who are on the same road as I am on, wanting what I want.

I weigh-in once a week on Thursday mornings at 8:30am.

It helps me.

I try to live mentally healthily too.

I have the Addiction Recovery Programme book next to my bed.

Each night I read a paragraph or two before I go to bed.

It helps me keep my head straight in that regard.

I try to live spiritually healthily too.

Every morning I read Old Testament (at the moment) and

Book of Mormon scripture.

Then I read something from the Ensign, New Era and Friend.

That sets me in a good frame of mind for the day.

Now to Music and the Spoken Word and then the

Sunday morning session of General Conference…

14^th April

It’s been a whirl of a week!  At work and at home!

And Sunday afternoon again!

I do the best I can and am grateful to go to bed each evening…

The weather is perfect…

I feel very blessed to still be here, though I miss being with you all very much!

Times and seasons.

I’m glad for the times we have spent together in the past.

They help to sustain me for now.

I trust you all have received sufficient foundational nurturing to

go forward with courage and basic wisdom on which you are building every day.

Do what needs doing… and Give yourself what you need.

Go forward steadfastly one day at a time.

Love

Mom / Judy

Vi's arm still healing - one spot still to close.

Two Trips Out

We took a trip to Glastonbury to meet with Gillian and Rob for the afternoon.

I loved this gorgeous mural.

Notice how the painting spills onto the pavement.

It did my heart good to spend some time again with them.

***************************************

Our next trip was to The House of Marbles.

I have been there before, but not Glenn.

It was very busy this time!

I loved being there again.

I enjoyed the pottery exhibition.

This pot says (as best I can reconstruct)

"Be as good as you can
At being what you are
Be like a glowworm
If you can't be a star."

Indeed.

The marble runs were fascinating to watch.
What makes the marble tumbling go one way and not another this time...?

I bet the creaters of these marble runs had great fun making them!

And the really big one on one and a quarter walls.

Fascinating to watch!

Antique marble and other games exhibition.

A fence on our drive to Dartmoor from The House of Marbles.

I love that the hand-made fence has been there for years, and is not destroyed/vandalised...

We stopped at this swift river.

Lovely sounds.

And onto Dartmoor.

Beautiful.

Blustery...

Moody.

Different wild flowers here in England.

A stop at a swift-flowing river.

Interesting to be there and see this brack water.

We walked along for a while.

Soothing sounds.

Remnants of an ancient bridge.

Facing away from the bank, a peaceful scene.

Jane took a picture of Glenn and me.

And Jane.
Thank you for this lovely trip!

Some canoeists drove up and slipped into the river

 and white-water canoed downstream.

Some horses on Dartmoor.

Vast views.

Windy!

Effective 'lawn-mowers.'

'

Bleak. 

Beautiful.

We drove back to Bridgwater.

I asked to be dropped off at the WeightWatcher's meeting in town.

I liked this stone house adjoining the church-hall meeting venue.

Well organised WeightWatcher's meeting.

And I took the Canal Walk home.

I liked this ancient stone wall still doing it's job.

And some peaceful scenes along my walk home.

The school looked different!

I discovered they razed the previous buildings and erected a new school.

The final part of my walk.

This is the book I was also reading at Jane's.

Interesting views and observations.

A real blessing to spend time with Jane.