2022 - Glenn and Judy History - Week 5

On holiday in Hibberdene 

in Natal then, Kwa Zulu Natal now.

1978

Douglas

Angela

Dianne

And Gillian was born 3rd December 1978.

Glenn and Judy

Gillian

Who Has been Particularly Kind to Me?

I love new beginnings!

A new day, an new week.

I count my blessings…

My back is not as sore as it has been for… six months…

That sure is a great blessing to me!

It’s been a hard couple of weeks with my back…

The days go by and I’m content – most of the time…

When I get cabin-fever I take a ride and see something different.

I’m grateful to be able to have a change of scenery.

I’m grateful the Botanic Garden is open again.

(Actually I discovered it isn't... it'll be open in August.)

I’ll be heading there soon.

It’s been closed for months – so I’ll wait for the rush to die down.

We have load-shedding again – the power is going off at 8 this evening.

It will come on again at 30 minutes past midnight.

That means… no electric blanket!

So – sheet shock!

Ah well… this too shall pass!

My Focus 2020 pondering continues…

Read on if you are interested…

I love you!

Mom / Judy

FOCUS – written a couple of days ago…

Here goes!

Who has been particularly kind to me?  How has this changed my life?

Not many people I know, know how to be what feels kind to me.

Kind I like… pity I do not…

I remember in one training session saying “Don’t pity me…”

I wonder why I am so resistant to being pitied.

I do NOT like being pitied.

The kind ones…

A few names come up over and over:  Sylvia Poss (my FAMSA trainer,)

Chris Golden (one of my ecclesiastical leaders,)

Carole Morrison (My friend with whom I’ve shared more about myself than any other,)

my Dad (who amazes me over and over as I find things he gave me, and did for me,)

my sister Jane, my brothers Tim, Les and Ron (who know me the longest of anyone alive.)

At times my children have felt, still feel, exceedingly kind and compassionate to me.

(They know me intimately…)

My husband feels kind and considerate to me.  I am grateful.

Interesting that the same ones who have felt/feel very kind to me are also the ones

who have also been able to/can hurt me in ways that have felt mortally wounding.

Interesting too that the ones I have felt were/are cruel and punishing to me

have also been the ones who have felt/are exceedingly kind to me at other times.

I remember a training session I attended in which we were asked

to list the people who have hurt us on one half of our piece of paper.

And then, on the other half of the same page, the names of the people who have helped us…

with the comment “You may find that the same people appear in both lists.”

True…  Instructive.

I’m grateful to have people I can count on.

Not always the same ones, but when I need someone I can count on,

I can find several to choose from.

“All these things shall give thee experience and be for thy good.” comes to my mind.

What an education!

Every relationship is in our life is for us to learn something about ourselves.

Also about others… and about life, the world.

I’m reminded over and over of the truth of that.

I hope I learn the lessons I need to learn – fast!  Eventually!

I’m interested that I keep on learning!

I’ve learnt about myself “I’ll give you more chances than you deserve…

but, when I’m done, I’m done.”  I’ll walk away, not needing to look back.

No regrets… I gave it all I knew how to give.

I’m really grateful to those who are able, have been able, to be what feels kind to me.

It’s blessed me, my life, and softened my heart, made me more human, more relatable.

Who has been particularly kind to you?  How has this changed your life?

What or who do I need to resist?  How can I do this effectively – and graciously?

Actually, I hardly ever feel the need to resist anything or anyone anymore.

I can be in their presence and not feel bullied or enticed.

I feel like what I don’t want just flows past me, away from me.

I don’t often feel “tempted” and the need to consciously resist.

I used to…  it has been hard at times, and very hard on occasion.

Substances, behaviours, people…  they’ve got under my skin in the past.

My life is simpler now, there aren’t the provocations and close contact with

some people and circumstances that I needed to have in the past.

They were instructive to me – of what I wanted and what I DIDN’T want!

How I wanted to be and how I DIDN’T want to be.

I understand myself, others and ‘life’ more these days.

I understand better who I uniquely am.

I understand better what I want.

I also understand more who and what I don’t want.

I’m able to “stay away” and “govern myself” more effectively.

I also know how to “go to” and say “No” to myself and others.

And – I keep on learning!

I hope I’m gracious and respectful about it…

I try to be.

I try to accord other people the courtesy I like to receive.

I hope I succeed more often than I used to be able to.

I’ve discovered the vocabulary and tones of voice that feel like they “fit” me.

I know what food I like to eat, and what my body likes,

what helps me function as best as I can.

I’ve discovered what colours and clothes I like to wear, that feel like “me.”

I’ve discovered how and where I like to live.

I’ve discovered how I want to spend my hours, my days, my life.

I’ve discovered the median pace I like to live.

I know what I like to read, listen to and watch, and what I don’t.

I’ve discovered who my friends are –

the ones that can be with me through thick and thin, sick and sin.

I’m enjoying the great adventure of my life.

I don’t actually know from day to day where my journey will take me…

And – I like that…  I do not like to be bored.

I do not like to be stuck in a rut.

I do not like to feel helpless, purposeless, wasting my time, my life!

 What or Who do you need to resist… How can you do it effectively and graciously?...

 Sometimes graciously has to go out the window... The resistance just needs to be done!

J

Lasting Influence

Sunday Afternoon March 29^th 2020 

I was reading this week in the Book of Mormon about Enos and how he went hunting, and remembered the words his father said…

This morning I was saying to Glenn “I miss my relationship with my Dad… He often would make comments that really made me think differently.”

He once said “Judy is our night-time perambulator…”  in the most natural and matter of fact way.  No criticism or praise...  That helped me see who I was in his eyes.  I still perambulate in the night-time sometimes… I guess that’s just a part of who I am.  I realized I get alone-time in the night when others are sleeping.  Of course… there is a price to pay – now I give myself a break then next day when I’ve been awake during the night.  Night time is also very good undisturbed thinking time.

He once asked me “Do you ever think about the person you are speaking to on the phone? … where they are while you are talking, what they’re doing…”  No – I never thought that before… Now I sometimes do.

I’m glad he was my Dad.  We spent some very good times together.  We made some good memories  when we reasonably could – considering his life and mine.  I’m glad I had no regrets when he died.  I meaningfully visited with him every week – by letter, phone call or actual visit.

I’m grateful for those I choose to live with.  I’m grateful for my husband.  We are so very different, and between the two of us we’ve knocked off some rough edges and made a good and peaceful life together.  I hope our children feel and come to appreciate the benefit of who and what we were able to be along our individual and family journeys when we were raising them.  Some families walk a dangerous walk together, some a disastrous.  We chose the risk of working out our differences and problems whilst staying together.  It was potentially greatly refining for both of us, and each of our children.  No going back and changing anything… onward, ever onward we go…

There were others who blessed and influenced me along the way.  All of them imperfect, I could identify their flaws easily… nevertheless each was a comfort, an encouragement, a teacher and a blessing to me on my journey to increasing maturity.

My heavenly Father – Thank You for your patience with and trust in me.

I’m discovering more and more, about what really matters most, every day.

There’s so much to learn!  I’m delighted I’ll never run out of things to learn!

My family of origin.  They have known me for the longest time of my life.

Lionel Bibb - he blessed his own family, and me too.

My husband.  I discovered in my studies, unless we learn better, we 'instinctively' choose who we need to learn from and with.  Usually someone ‘like’ the parent we had the most challenge with.  We get to figure out as an adult what we could not when we were children in our original circumstances.

Douglas, Angela, Dianne and Gillian.  I’ve learnt so much from and with you.  I believe you agreed to come to us and ‘help’ us along as we ‘help’ you along. You also ‘know’ me inside and out.

Our extended families – I appreciate the new dimensions and experiences you bring into my life.

I’m grateful Glenn and our children haven’t given up on me.  Thank you.

Sylvia Poss – my main FAMSA trainer - for many years.

Linda Brown – a significant turning-point FAMSA trainer.

My LifeLine trainers - also over many years.

Chris Golden – our home teacher, then our Stake President.

A senior missionary Sister at the Missionary Training Centre – I don’t remember her name.

She told me about a moment in her relationship with her husband. 

She said she had occasion to say to him  “If you can’t and don’t appreciate me, you’ll lose me.”

The scriptures, and teachers, and commentators on the scriptures.

General Conference and other church leaders talks.

Many, many church talks and classes through many years.

The church magazines, and other good magazines.

Many authors of books I have been blessed to learn from – either in formal- or self-study.

I continue to learn.  Every day!  Amazing!

I continue to choose to become more and more my unique, special and irreplaceable self.

I continue to live the best way I know how, every day, for most of it, almost all the time.

I’m not perfect yet…

I still have a long way to go.

And - I’m a whole lot more mature than I was able to be earlier in my life.

Thank you each for the good I have gleaned from each of you.

Thank you all those who have not given up on me.

Whose words have had a lasting influence on you?

I love you.

Mom / Judy

Now that watermelon is scarce…

Delicious and nutritious papaya and banana!

Another Whirr of a Week

Sunday morning – 15^th December 2019 

A week of sorting, saving and sharing -

Bringing increasing order and familiarity to my home and world.

This week I shared some more things with the Charity Shop.

Then I thought “I wonder if anyone in the Ward needs any of this…”

I’m not on the Relief Society WhatsApp group yet…

So that is what I will be sure to have happen today.

I asked to be put on last Sunday… it’s not been done yet.

On Wednesday I went to the hair-dresser.

I always feel better after taking care of my hair…

Somehow or other I have developed a breath-gasping back-ache.

That’s required flat bed rest when it gets too intrusive.

On Friday I sought a chiropractor.

The one I used to go to was going on leave.

So was another I know.

I found one up the road, near the Junction Spar.

I went to him of Friday.

A work-out of note…

Today I feel more comfortable than I have for a week.

Here’s hoping my comfort level increases to my normal soon.

Friday evening we gathered at Doug and Nadia.

After a simple supper, and family socializing,

Ethan was ordained an Elder by Doug, assisted by Glenn and

Sheldon Torr representing the Soweto Stake.

Jarom was able to be “there” via phone.

It was a heart-warming experience.

I joined my WeighLess group in Weltevreden Park on Saturday.

I will be checking in every Saturday at 8am.

That just reminds me of accountability for maintaining my goal weight.

I made a resolution about 48 years ago to maintain a healthy weight.

It saves money on clothes!  And saves pain and discomfort…  I hope.

I’ve been in my goal-weight range for many years – thanks to checking-in

almost weekly with WeightWatchers (now pulled out of the country.)

and now WeighLess – a South African programme.  Better than WeightWatchers –

though I prefer the name WeightWatchers I must say...

(Last Saturday morning we were at the Temple with Richard and Emily.)

(Another Emily in the ‘family!’)

I have now found a dry-cleaner to take Glenn’s suit to…

I bought and put together a dual rail for the spare-room store-room.

I’m proud of myself!  I thought along the way “Not all the pieces are here…”

But they were… and I found a way to put it together…

(Glenn was at the chiropractor on Saturday morning.)

We joined Arthur and Denise Butterfield and the Dessert Club for lunch on Saturday.

We enjoyed a delicious meal – thank you Arthur and Denise.

I enjoyed catching-up with those whom we have met with monthly for many years.

I’m shocked I must say.  They all look so much older…

Sobering…  I wonder if we look “so much older…” to them.

Food for thought…  

I don’t feel older… except for the recovering back-ache…

Glenn and I both spoke in our Discovery Ward Sacrament meeting this morning.

Monday Morning (public holiday - Day of Reconciliation)

This morning I feel a little tearful.  Not sure why.

Maybe I’m just peopled-out.

Time to go and spend a couple of hours in the Botanic Garden.

I’ll go and visit my Dad’s grave too.

I have stones to add to those probably still there.

(I take stones from where I have been and lay them there when I can.)

I did a Tai Chi routine this morning in the front garden

Then spent 10 minutes in the garden.

One patch is a little clearer.

I will do ten minutes when I can – back permitting.

My back feels a little easier this morning.

I will take care of it so it can take care of me!

Have a good week!

Doug's 45th Birthday

Constantia Spur for a breakfast celebration...

And pasta bake and cake in the evening.

Amidst the alterations at their home.

Happy Birthday Doug!

 

My Car is Repaired!

Bless Douglas!

I have been using one of his cars while mine was being panel beaten.

My car is back! 

No more hail damage!

Happy Day!

Birthday and Anniversary Celebration

Sunday evening we gathered to celebrate.

Glenn is 67, I am 71, and we have been married 46 years.

Here are Jarom, Cabryn, Cindy and Ron.

Dom was busy with some compassionate service - we missed him.

And here are Vi, Nadia, Daena, Doug with Scarlett,

Ethan and Glenn.

We enjoyed our supper together!

We are having simply glorious weather at the moment.

We will thoroughly enjoy it for as long as it lasts...

House III Lys

I visited Cindy (She's been away in Cape Town for a week or so...)

While I was there I took a photo of the progress in unit 3 House III

Progress at House III Lys

I took a walk to see the progress.

I enjoyed seeing this lizard along the way.

Enormous progress!

And another lizard on the back door to Cindy's unit.

Doug's Third House in HIs Street

Foundation for the third unit...

Herbert Family, Scarlett, Patio Project

Hannah, the middle child.

Joshua, the eldest.

Caleb the youngest.

Shelly.

 Andrew.

 Patrick's birthday candle. 

Happy Birthday Patrick!

Jesus' birthday candle - six days of 12 hours later!

Vi wanted 'to get some flowers' for me.

I chose this amarylis.

I have loved watching it open!

 A bit here and a bit there the patio project continues.

Bathroom ceiling preparation.

 

A little more open...

More ceiling fitted...

And Scarlett came to visit!

Thrilled Mom!  

We are happy to have her home!

New Year's morning we went to Rusty Hook for breakfast.

Dianne's birthday candle dripped wax in an unusual way!

Happy Birthday Dianne!

More gorgeous blooms!

And even more the next day!

The ceiling basics finished and ready for filling.

The shower door getting ready to go in with Doug's help.

Aren't the flowers gorgeous!

And installing the doors...

Finished for today...