What/Who Do I Want More Of?

Sunday Afternoon – June 14^th 2020

It’s been a WEEK!

COLD! And full of unexpected as well as usual experiences.

I’m grateful for the quiet of this afternoon –

And the sun in our spare room!

Angela’s birthday on Friday.  Jarom’s 20^th birthday tomorrow.

I’m glad to have these two people in my life.

And a whole lot of other family and friend’s birthdays too!

I’m glad to have you and them all in my life.

Vincent draws to the end of his mission, Ethan approaches the start of his.

I’m very aware again that we have no idea what any day actually holds for us.

Life can change in an instant!  Suddenly!

A drunk truck-driver was driving down a highway this week and ploughed into two busses and a mini-bus taxi. Eight people lost their lives…

And so quickly many lives are affected – drastically.

I’m grateful for Tender Mercies.

I’m grateful for each day spent in relationship with those I love and care about.

I think my life is about balancing and re-balancing regularly.

Who or what do I have too much of?  Or too little of?

Is what I want good for me or not?

Is there anything I can do about it?

Who might be able to help me?

Who might I be able to help?

And so we all go on, one day at a time, one week at a time…

This is what I really want more of:

More holiness give me,

More strivings within,

   More patience in suff’ring,

   More sorrow for sin,

   More faith in my Savior,

   More sense of his care,

   More joy in his service,

   More purpose in prayer.

More gratitude give me,

More trust in the Lord,

   More pride in his glory,

   More hope in his word,

   More tears for his sorrows,

   More pain at his grief,

   More meekness in trial,

   More praise for relief.

More purity give me,

More strength to o’ercome,

   More freedom from earth-stains,

   More longing for home.

   More fit for the kingdom,

   More used would I be,

   More blessed and holy—

   More, Savior, like thee.

   This is where my mind has been focussed.

I’ve been pondering Personality Disordered Individuals (PDI)

I’m wondering if one of my clients is such a person, or if one or several around her are.

I’m wondering if it is “my business” and how to responsibly manage myself in her presence.

I don’t often deal with deeply personality-disturbed people.

I hauled out my book about Personality Disorders to have a thoughtful read again.

It was published in 2007.  I read it in 2008.

It was hugely helpful to me when I came across his perspective.

I don’t entirely agree with what he proposes…

And I can also see why he proposes what he proposes…

I need to research this topic some more.

People are so interesting!  So individual!  So complex! 

We’re all so in need of intelligent compassion and consideration.

What can I do?  What ought I not to do?

So – that’s what I need more of at the moment.

I’ve wanted more chocolate this week!

And that’s not always good for me!  I continue learning about myself…

And so, on I go… balancing and re-balancing who/what I want more of,

And discerning who/what is good for me or not…

How do you handle these questions in your life?

I love you!

Thank you for being among those I call mine.

Mom/Judy/Gran Judy

What Changes Do I Need To Make?

Sunday Afternoon – April 26^th 2020 

Hilmar, you say “What a day…”  For us it’s been “What a week…”  

And, it’s been a good week!

Kayla’s birthday celebration last Sunday – lunch and afternoon/evening together at Doug and Nadia’s, we had Doug and Nadia, Ethan Daena and Cabryn here for supper on Tuesday; Ethan’s supper and opening of his mission call to Cape Town mission on Thursday at Doug and Nadia’s;

  

Doug and Nadia’s 21^st wedding anniversary, combined with Nadia’s grandmother’s 86^th birthday celebration supper here on Friday evening. 12 of us wandering there and here to rejoice and celebrate together… (Doug, Nadia, Ethan, Daena, Cabryn; Travis, Kayla; Nadia's mother Erene, Erene's mother Miriam (or Marion to some) and Erene's daughter Roisin; and Glenn and me.)

Along the way we updated ourselves with the current Corona Virus national information, and accomplished more property maintenance and development:  Glenn replaced a toilet washer, and another toilet fitting, took out our old shower in the other part of the house, cleaned it and replaced the shower – it was leaking.  I did more gardening and sorting, particularly in our outside storeroom.  Satisfying, I must say.

Monday – (Freedom Day)

And, here we are into the new week…

 It’s a public holiday here – not that it makes any difference...  J 

Not much change in our routines, just different programming on the radio programmes.

And now – on to the question to consider for the week…

What changes do I need to make?  Why do I need to make them?

I’m one of those who is making changes all the time as I realise I’m “off track.”

(Off the track I decide I want to travel on.) 

I wonder where I learnt that?

I think perhaps it grew into my consciousness?

I remember feeling at one point “Oh!  I’ve let my standard slip…”

And – “This doesn’t feel nice for me… What needs to be done?”

Also – “Oh!  Am I supposed to influence, if I can…?!”

And – “My children don’t take me seriously because I do not get angry…”

“I don’t like the way I sounded – to myself!  No matter how I sounded to him/her…”

“Oh Judy – that was a low blow… What on earth were you thinking when you said that?!”

“I acknowledge you have the right to behave and speak the way you choose…

however… you’ll lose me if you don’t find your ways to govern yourself better…”

“I claim the privilege of worshiping according to the dictates of my own conscience.”

“You also have that privilege to worship, or not, who, how, where and what you may.”

“I didn’t sign up for this…”

“This is more than I know how to deal with… who can help me?”

“Firm, fair and friendly… that who I am.  How can we live this together...?”

“I am a wonderful, worthy woman of God.  I deserve to be loved and appreciated…

I am worthy.  I am loved and appreciated… by many others.”

“I am your mother… you are my teenage child… 

I will behave in an adult manner no matter how you react and behave.”

“I choose my life and how I’ll be (within the bounds that I can’t change.
Or the changes I'm  not going to make.  You can pull out you want to, I'm not going to.)”

Of course… I was not always successful in the face of the voices and actions of accusation, opposition, provocation, and immaturity from within me to myself and others,

and from those outside of and around me.  

I could not be more mature than I was able to be. 

Neither were those around me able to be more mature than they were able to be.

None of us can know what we don’t know yet, or be mature than we can be at any given time.

Hopefully we’re all growing, striving, growing up.

Somehow or other I did not give up on those important to me, and they did not give up on me…

We learnt to respect ourselves and each other in increasing degrees I think?

I guess we learnt, and are still learning, to live, love, learn, set and keep rational and civil limits.

Hopefully there is some sort of worthwhile legacy of what we want to pass down to our future generations and what we want to let go of and not pass down.

And that “worthwhile or worthless legacy” does not depend only on what I, and we, decide.

I hope I keep on changing in ways that make me a better person and easier to live with.

What changes do you still need to make, and why?

I love you!

Mom / Judy / Gran Judy etc

Hymn (Number 240) made an impression on me when I was a child.

It continues to be deeply meaningful to me.

(I hope it is included in the new hymnbook currently being compiled…)

Know this, that ev’ry soul is free

To choose his life and what he’ll be;

   For this eternal truth is giv’n:

   That God will force no man to heav’n.

He’ll call, persuade, direct aright,

And bless with wisdom, love, and light,

   In nameless ways be good and kind,

   But never force the human mind.

Freedom and reason make us men;

Take these away, what are we then?

   Mere animals, and just as well

   The beasts may think of heav’n or hell.

May we no more our pow’rs abuse,

But ways of truth and goodness choose;

   Our God is pleased when we improve

   His grace and seek his perfect love.

Another Whirr of a Week

Sunday morning – 15^th December 2019 

A week of sorting, saving and sharing -

Bringing increasing order and familiarity to my home and world.

This week I shared some more things with the Charity Shop.

Then I thought “I wonder if anyone in the Ward needs any of this…”

I’m not on the Relief Society WhatsApp group yet…

So that is what I will be sure to have happen today.

I asked to be put on last Sunday… it’s not been done yet.

On Wednesday I went to the hair-dresser.

I always feel better after taking care of my hair…

Somehow or other I have developed a breath-gasping back-ache.

That’s required flat bed rest when it gets too intrusive.

On Friday I sought a chiropractor.

The one I used to go to was going on leave.

So was another I know.

I found one up the road, near the Junction Spar.

I went to him of Friday.

A work-out of note…

Today I feel more comfortable than I have for a week.

Here’s hoping my comfort level increases to my normal soon.

Friday evening we gathered at Doug and Nadia.

After a simple supper, and family socializing,

Ethan was ordained an Elder by Doug, assisted by Glenn and

Sheldon Torr representing the Soweto Stake.

Jarom was able to be “there” via phone.

It was a heart-warming experience.

I joined my WeighLess group in Weltevreden Park on Saturday.

I will be checking in every Saturday at 8am.

That just reminds me of accountability for maintaining my goal weight.

I made a resolution about 48 years ago to maintain a healthy weight.

It saves money on clothes!  And saves pain and discomfort…  I hope.

I’ve been in my goal-weight range for many years – thanks to checking-in

almost weekly with WeightWatchers (now pulled out of the country.)

and now WeighLess – a South African programme.  Better than WeightWatchers –

though I prefer the name WeightWatchers I must say...

(Last Saturday morning we were at the Temple with Richard and Emily.)

(Another Emily in the ‘family!’)

I have now found a dry-cleaner to take Glenn’s suit to…

I bought and put together a dual rail for the spare-room store-room.

I’m proud of myself!  I thought along the way “Not all the pieces are here…”

But they were… and I found a way to put it together…

(Glenn was at the chiropractor on Saturday morning.)

We joined Arthur and Denise Butterfield and the Dessert Club for lunch on Saturday.

We enjoyed a delicious meal – thank you Arthur and Denise.

I enjoyed catching-up with those whom we have met with monthly for many years.

I’m shocked I must say.  They all look so much older…

Sobering…  I wonder if we look “so much older…” to them.

Food for thought…  

I don’t feel older… except for the recovering back-ache…

Glenn and I both spoke in our Discovery Ward Sacrament meeting this morning.

Monday Morning (public holiday - Day of Reconciliation)

This morning I feel a little tearful.  Not sure why.

Maybe I’m just peopled-out.

Time to go and spend a couple of hours in the Botanic Garden.

I’ll go and visit my Dad’s grave too.

I have stones to add to those probably still there.

(I take stones from where I have been and lay them there when I can.)

I did a Tai Chi routine this morning in the front garden

Then spent 10 minutes in the garden.

One patch is a little clearer.

I will do ten minutes when I can – back permitting.

My back feels a little easier this morning.

I will take care of it so it can take care of me!

Have a good week!

Sunday Afternoon - Home Again!

We had a peaceful and delicious breakfast on Thursday at The Little Church in Van Reenen… we were on our way home…

 And yes, we are home again…

We had thunder and lightning and rain Thursday night when we arrived, and after Ethan, Daena, Cabryn and Roisin (Nadia’s sister) helped carry all the stuff in…  
We are home!

I walk around bare-foot on our carpets… We are home!

I bathed in my own bath… We are home!

The church bells rang this morning…  We are home!

The peaches and apricots are ripe… We are home!

The birds are chirping and chirping outside… We are home!

And we have room!

Douglas has built upstairs in the property behind us and moved some of his stuff there. 

This week we will move more there to clear the front room off the entrance hall and prepare it for Les and Sally who arrive next weekend.

Richard, their youngest, is marrying and being sealed in the Temple on Saturday.

I am looking forward to that precious time with Les and Sally.

I enjoy having my brothers to stay, when they come to Gauteng for whatever reason.

Actually, I just enjoy visitors – and I prefer them shortish-term, whenever possible.

The other front room, Doug’s office, will be next on the list to clear to next door behind, then we’ll be all on our own in our part of the house.

And we’ll make that front room and the adjoining ‘piano room’ into what we need them to be for this stage of our lives.

(The piano room is already transformed – we did that before we left - it has a new built-in-cupboard which is very useful.)

(I’ll share pictures when all the new stuff is closer to ‘finished’ than it is right now.)

I to Glenn "If one of us is alone in the future we might well end up in one room."

We have much to share now with those less fortunate than we are.

I will take a load of our many clothes to the charity shop tomorrow.

Other items will be sure to follow.

We’ve been packing in La Lucia for weeks now.

A bit at a time…

By the time Thursday came, we were ready – just about.

I realized when I was in Pietermaritzburg that I’d left a few items in the fridge…

Ah well, the movers will have 6 eggs, delicious bean soup (which I meant to leave for those who clean and tend the estate) and probably a few other this’s and that’s…

I loved being there for the three years and five months that our home was there.
I loved being closer to John, Brenda, Vi, Craig, Roxane, Madi and Kirsty.

I mastered more technology… what a blessing!

I met and got to know many people I never would have otherwise.

We lived where we would never have otherwise.

We went places and did things we never would have otherwise.

I’m glad we went.

As I said to one of my colleagues who commented that I really enjoyed being there, 
“I enjoy my life… wherever I am.  Each day that passes will never come again.  I want as few regrets as possible when it is my time to die.”

I’m glad to be home…

I love my home…

We’ve spent many years making it very comfortable, functional, and pleasing to me/us.

Interesting – I don’t even miss the other side of the house.

This part is very suitable.

I’ll spend ten early minutes a day in the garden, and ten minutes a day on a ‘hotspot.’

FlyLady terminology… Finally Love Yourself Lady.

FlyLady has been very useful in ‘liberating’ me to a greater degree.

Do you know about it?

I look forward to going to the Botanical Gardens again.

One of my places of refuge/refreshing/being.

It’s good to be home!

It’s good to be alive!  See, hear, smell, taste, touch, think, move, be, LIVE!

We have a heat wave this weekend – it is hot.

We have the fan on, and the doors and windows wide open.

Most tolerable, most pleasant, when that is possible.

Northerners… Enjoy your deepening December.

Somehow Christmas in Winter is “the way it should be…”

“We” in the South have been indoctrinated by the Northern countries – 
through many years!

Somehow Christmas Dinner (hot) is just not right here…

And Christmas cake/pudding here needs to be ice-cream…

To each their own. We’ll have a swim on Christmas day to cool down.

That’s appropriate here.

This little bird, big actually, was by our front gate when I drove in from shopping yesterday…

Black Friday weekend… What was I thinking?!

I was glad to see this at-ease bird!
Do any of you know what it is?

Tuesday Morning - 27th August 2019 - More Family Time!

It’s been a lovely week, and I’ve muddled and juggled along as best I could.

A new day of our "nice quiet life" after the wonderful flurry of the previous eleven days or so…

It will be good to sleep in our own bed again too.

For the time Patrick and Angela were here we slept at one of our colleagues’ home on the same estate.  We could walk there… We often do… at the end of each busy day - we chose to drive.

A supper together last week at Amanzimtoti's Clearwater Spur

Vi, John, Brenda, Craig, Roxane, Madi, Kirsty, Doug, Nadia, Ethan Daena, Cabryn, 

Patrick, Angela, Samuel, Isaac, Glenn and I - 

Flag Animal Farm last Saturday was a family affair – Vi, John and Brenda, Craig, Roxane, Madi and Kirsty, Patrick, Angela, Samuel and Isaac, and Glenn and I.

I saw a black sheep...  I thought "I never realised there were actually black sheep..."

And the four-horned sheep.  It looks like three here, but there's a little fourth out of sight.

This touched my heart.

 

We ended up at the Umhlanga's Miami Spur for our last meal with Patrick, Angela, Samuel and Isaac on Monday evening.  I love to hear the soothing sounds of the sea as we eat there.

We had spent time during the day at the lovely Durban Botanic Garden.

We saw bananas growing!

And the canon ball tree...

Samuel and Isaac loved their "climbing tree."

We saw this noble pair...

Isaac enjoyed climbing...

Many years ago I took a photo of Douglas and Angela in the Orchid House.  And another of her today in the Orchid House.  When I get home I will find it and add it in here - for the record!

This lovely coloured bark tree is from the saligna (gum-tree) family...

Their 'climbing tree" again...

Isaac enjoyed the "bouncing tree" more than Samuel.

And the sensory garden...

An old-fashioned pump...

And obstacle course...

And the paint-brush lilies - as I call them.

Feeding the ducks...

They left on a direct early morning flight this morning.

It’s been so good to share some time with them, and with Doug, Nadia, Ethan, Daena and Cabryn for three days the previous week.  The two groups visited Ushaka and made memories while we were on the site.

I’m so grateful they could all be here.  I’m glad it was possible.

It often isn’t…

And – life is good… my life is very good, every day!

Today I did three loads of laundry along with work at the site.

This evening we will return mattresses and linen borrowed from our other colleague Anton Fourie.

We will gratefully fall into our own bed tonight after a simple supper!

Tomorrow morning the linen from our stay at Alan Rudolph’s home will be ready for returning.

Patrick, Angela and the boys arrived safely and are home from the flurries here.

And – on we go!

My love to all of my loved-ones...

It’s a precious privilege to serve our Father in Heaven and His Son full time…

Happy Me… 😊