Who/What Do I Put Myself Out For?

Sunday Afternoon - June 28^th 2020 

Glenn went for hopefully his final kidney stone surgery…

He says he feels much better…

I continue with the chiropractor – that feels helpful…

I’ve discovered that a hot water bottle on my back is very nice and soothing.

Hopefully whatever was ‘out’ is settling into new comfort.

On Friday I had a foot reflexology session – that felt very good for me!

On Saturday I woke with no pain at all.  That lasted until mid-day,

then the hot water bottle and resting helped.

And so we continue – basking in our sunny spare room for as long

as the sun is there, and then putting on heaters when it is cold.

Who do I put myself out for?   Is this good for them?  For me?

I put myself out for various people and occasions.

I do it as much as I can without resentment.

When I feel taken advantage of, or stretching beyond my limits

I know how to excuse myself and take care of myself and replenish my reserves.

I know more about not enabling people to be able to be their less-than better self.

Around me at any rate.

I read a book about “Women Who Love Too Much” once upon a time…

That was an important read for me.

By the way: There are men who love too much too.

We can love too much for our own good, and love too much for their good.

Occasionally I need to “just keep going,” and I can do that still.

I know I will need down time afterwards, time to recoup, recover.

No-one can “run on empty” beyond a certain point.

And it’s been interesting and instructive to realize I can actually

do more than I thought I could sometimes.

I’ve learnt over the years what I can and cannot do, must and must not do, and just will not do.

I’ve learnt to manage myself better and better.

I’ve learnt that most things do not need to be done in an urgent fashion.

Well… not things that are still in my life anyway!

Reducing my commitments has been a part of my life for a long time.

There are times and seasons I have learnt.

I have discovered I can’t do it all.  I don’t want to do it all.

I’ve discovered I don’t want it all.  Sufficient for my needs is sufficient for me.

I have discovered I can have it all, all that I want; just not all at the same time.

It’s “Time to relax and enjoy the journey!” Every Day!

A long time ago a friend of my parents, Shirley Murrish, shared a moment with me.

“Judy, my husband and I were going to do this grand trip when he retired.

Two years before he retired he had a stroke and the trip couldn’t happen anymore.

If something is important to you, don’t put it off.”

And a useful short story I read – to this effect: 

A young couple always wanted to travel in a camper-van.

The husband also wanted to teach seminary.

A seminary salary would not afford a regular campervan.

So they bought an old VW Kombi, stripped the insides out and

gradually turned it into a comfortable campervan.

They thoroughly enjoyed their project!

And in it they had many an interesting and adventurous excursion in their van.

Moral:  If you can’t afford what you’d ideally like, find a way to “do/have it” anyway –

in a manner that you can afford!

I’ve done lots that I wanted to do – in a manner that I could afford

in terms of time, talent and means!

I’m grateful.

So, I hope I’ve increasingly achieved a more and more equitable balance

between meeting the needs of others, and my own as well.

I’ve had to determine my honest and realistic circle of interest, and concern.

I simply can’t do and be all things to all people.

I’m grateful for my life.

I love living in these abundant and exciting days!

I regret few choices I have made through the years.

I’ve forgiven myself for what I could not know/do when I needed to know/do it.

I’ve forgiven others for not being able to be/do what I thought they could be/do.

When I have known better, most of the time I’ve done better.

I’ve changed what I can.

I’ve let go of trying to change anyone else.

I’ve discovered it’s important to mind (take care of) my own business (life and choices)

and let others mind (take care of, or not) their business.

I can appreciate myself and them for who we are each able to be –

Unique and individual, special and irreplaceable.

 “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, of good report or praiseworthy, 

I seek after those things.”

There’s plenty in and around all of us to find.

Who/What do you put yourself out for?

Is it good for you?  Them?

I love you!

Mom / Judy / Gran Judy