What Can I Change So I'll Be Happier?

 

What can I change to be happier?  How can I make my every day happier?

Now these are some more interesting questions to consider!

(When I compiled these questions last year I never dreamt how thought-provoking, soul-searching  and useful I would find them...)

What comes immediately to mind is:

Paint the garden walls?

I'm getting myself ready to do that.

I need to mull over what I want to do to be sure it is what I want to do.

I also give myself time so I find the most efficient and pleasing way for me to do "it."

So far I figure if I do one set of panels a painting session, I'll enjoy doing the job.

I reckon it'll take me about a month to do them all.

And it won't get too tired per day.

And I won't get too hot - I'll choose a cooler time of the day to do my one set of panels.

And the paint brush and roller won't get too yucky to clean.

Give away more "things?"

Each week I give away a few more things.

Tidy the spare-room storeroom?

I'm pondering on that...

It has too many things in it.

The roof also has a leak so at the moment there are things on the floor to catch the drips until the leak is attended to - not quite sure how to do it yet... 

I have a tentative plan so far.  It will get done.

Find or have made/make more summer pants?

I know what I want.  I know what I need.

I can't find it in the shops I've been to.

So - I'm about to go to the fabric shop and see if I can find what I want.

I'll either make them myself or find someone to make them for me.

I haven't decided that yet.

Be more diligent with my house-keeping/home maintenance?

(It's easier for me to keep a home tidy enough and sufficiently maintained 

than to remedy neglected states.)

(And going about it steadily spreads the cost more evenly...  

I think it costs less to keep maintained than to rehabilitate...) 

Actually I found my card system for Side-tracked Home Executives (SHE) 

and am happily using them again. 

I find I'm also influenced by FLYlady so I'm adding some of those terms on my cards.  These systems work for me!  They help me keep myself a little more organized.  

I'm naturally not organized.  

Actually, I'm organized in my own way - which looks to other people like not organized... 

And also, to me "People are More Important than Things."  

So - often the people in my life, me included, are prioritized.  

So already I feel more cheerful these last few back-achey days of this back-achey year.

(What IS that all about????)

I'm generally content and peaceful.  

I flow as much as I can - let as few things bother me as I can.

So... onward, ever onward.

One day at a time.

What can you change to be happier?

And - How can you make your every day happier?

What Do I Appreciate About My Parents/Ancestors?

A little I know and share about my ancestors...

I appreciate that they did the best they could.

I know some stories about them.

I'm grateful to my parents, Kenneth and Philippa, for telling me what they knew about them. 

I'm grateful too to seldom seen uncles and aunts for sharing family stories.

My Mother's mother, Ethel, the grandmother I knew, was a stoic figure.

She lived in Cape Town.  I saw her infrequently.

She died when I was 16.

My mother's father, Richard, died when she was 7.

She and her three older sisters, Dorothy, Marjorie and Ruth, were raised by their widowed mother.

My father's father, Kenneth, died when he was 11.

His mother, Winifred, died when he was 17.

His two older sisters, Pixie and Betty, left school to support him so that he could finish school.

When my Dad was 17 the second World War broke out.

His eldest sister Pixie's either boyfriend or husband by that time, Uncle Paul, mentored him into joining the South African Navy. 

My parents married in 1943, during the war.

I was born in  Cape Town in 1945, at the end of the Second World War.

I am the eldest of their five children.

A little about my parents...

My father and mother also did the best they could...

I knew they loved me.

My Dad enjoyed a successful career in the motor industry and then moved into administration leadership in the newly established Church offices in South Africa.

I loved my Dad.

He was able to communicate with me in ways that were meaningful to me.

Three valuable things I learn from him: dutifulness, excellence and enjoying our country.

My mother was a crusading stay-at-home Mom.

She was an active member of the communities we lived in.

My Mom and I saw many things differently.

Three valuable things I learnt from her: loyalty, patriotism and the complexities of right and wrong.

And - What legacy am I building every day?

Oh my...

I don't know...

I know what I hope I am building.

I hope my husband knows I love him and I try to be a help meet for him.

I hope my children know that I love them enough to loosen the apron strings.  

I love them unconditionally - though I might not like all the decisions they make.

I hope they know I look for the good in them.

I hope they know I respect them and cheer them on.

And I respect their agency to live their lives as they choose.

I hope they know I did the best I could when I was raising them.

I hope they know I enjoy my every-day life, and when it's hard, that I find something to enjoy every day.

I hope they know that I'm still doing the best I can.

I hope my grandchildren and great-grandchildren also know these things about me.

I hope this is a legacy they find useful to them as they proceed with their lives.

And - What do you appreciate about your parents and ancestors?

What legacy are you building every day?

What Do I "See" Now That I Didn't "See" Before?

CHOICES... every day.

 I see many things now that I didn't see before.  More in myself, in others and in the world.

I see that very few things in life really matter to me.

I see that each day gone is gone forever.

I see that enjoying as much of my every-day life as I can is important to me.

I see that I want to live in such a way that I have as few regrets as possible when I die.

I see I want to be comfortable in my own skin.

I see I want to be myself, my best self, as much as I can.

I see I love and appreciate my husband as much as I can.

I see I love and appreciate each of my children as much as I can.

I see I love my grandchildren and great-grandchildren as much as I can.

I see my siblings are important to me.

I see the preciousness of my good friends.

I see more of the unveiled ugliness, brazenness and harshness of life in and around me.

I see more of the real beauty, valiance and goodness of life in and around me.

I see the importance of living my own life and allowing others to live their own lives.

I see living a good and Godly life is important to me.

I see comfort, contentment, compassion and composure are important to me.

I see faith, commitment, wisdom and courage are qualities I cultivate.

I see physical, mental, spiritual and social health is important to me.

I see I love this world in all its variety and splendour.

I see value in cultivating a vegetable garden.  I'm learning a lot.

I see that adding value each day is what I do.

I see "A nice quiet life" is what I strive for.

In what ways am I wiser/poorer for seeing?

Well, I hope I'm wiser!

I feel wiser.

I feel more content, more patient.

What do you see now that you didn't see before?

In what ways are you wiser/poorer for seeing now?

What gift do I really, truly desire?

Interesting Question...  And Singular...

Well, right now...  Perhaps the gift of my back, hip being sorted out?  

My back's been bothering me since we got home almost a year ago.

I think I unsettled it some time either on the journey home, or in settling down here again.

I've been to the kinesiologist, that didn't sort it, though my visit was comforting.

Then, during the December holidays I phoned the chiropractor I used to go to before we left.  

He was already on holiday for the Christmas/New Year three/four weeks.

I phoned a very local chiropractor and visited twice.  His massage machine

was too rough on my poor aching back.  

I decided not to go back for any more treatments.

I had to rest, flat on my back, early afternoon each day to be able to make it through the day.

I can do what I have to do... so that was not very inconvenient...

I continued to think about what to do and pray about my back.

Then stage five lock-down happened.  

My resting every day, thinking and praying about my back continued.

As lock-down eased I phoned the chiropractor I used to go to again.

He was practicing again.

I went a couple of times.  His treatments felt too soft to attend to the problem.

I stopped going again... continuing to rest every day, think, and pray about my back.

Then Glenn had some kidney stone problems.

I had to take him to the Medgate Centre for some Covid 19 tests before 

being admitted to hospital for surgical blasting of the stone.

I saw a chiropractor sign there.

After thinking some more and praying about it, I made an appointment with him.

I went there three times.

Only on the third visit, when I said this was the last time I was coming did he 

manage to attend to the breath-catching wearying aching spot in my back.

Why did I decide I wasn't going back there?

I don't know how to describe it...

In my training we discussed "potency" of the practitioner.

I felt like I was more use to the chiropractor in terms of potency than he was to me.

I felt like I was more use to him than he was to me.

I felt like I was not sufficiently satisfied with the "return on my investment" 

of submitting my body to his treatment, my time and my money.  

I'm not sure how to articulate it...

I feel like I answered more of his questions than he attended to my need/s.

Anyway... He said "You need to invest in your back-health" on my final visit.

I though that was an odd thing to say...

I thought "Maybe he is right?  Maybe I am being too hasty?"  

After postponing a further appointment twice to be surer in myself

I phoned and said I was definitely not going back.

I continued to rest every day to make it through the day, think about what to do,

and pray about my wearying, aching, breath-catching "back situation." 

Is it psychosomatic?

Is it metaphysical?

Is it physical?

What do I need to learn?

What do I need to do?

Do I need to change anything?

Is this it?

Do I need to live like this for the rest of my life?

Why am I in 'The School of Pain' again?

Who do I need to meet?

Who needs to meet me?

Where do you want me to go dear Lord?

What do you want me to do?

I think I go about my life a lot on instinct? Inspiration?  Experience? 

I live each day in contented, peaceful, cautious confidence.

Does that make sense?

I try to be aware at multi-levels of my being - physical, emotional, 

spiritual, financial, capacity, social, delight, weather, safety, comfort etc.

Anyway...

Comes Spring 2020...  And the need to dig in the garden.

My relatively unstable left hip nagged at me.

It has bothered me mostly on, and sometimes off, since I slipped 

on some wet polished steps when I was a young missionary.

"I really need to do something about this!"

So I searched on the internet for a chiropractor.

Why not...  I like to solve my problems... for a time, if not for good.

I felt impressed to contact a man at May Clinic, fairly nearby.

I've been three times so far.

This has been chiropractics like I've not experienced before.

He's sorted out my shoulder problem from falling down the stairs at the Temple.

He's correcting my posture.  

Relearning is uncomfortable as well as encouraging.

I realise I've compensated and compensated to be as comfortable as possible.

He said I might be in more pain along the way... 

Well, I have been since my third treatment last Friday.

I feel light-headed and off-balance.  Maybe twisted?

I go again tomorrow.

I'm hopeful...  I continue in hope.  Faith in every footstep.

If I have to live my life with little or no improvement, well, I can.

I understand why people use walking sticks...

If I have to, I will.

But, there you are... that's the gift (singular) I really truly desire right now...

For the rest of my life... I am truly blessed.

And what I can't change, is not mine to change, I leave in God's hands.

He can do His will.

I'll be content to live my life for Him, doing the best I can every day.

Is this a gift I need to give myself?

I'm doing the best I can to give it to myself - with others' help.

How can I be ready to receive this gift?

By being open to receiving it?

By co-operating with the chiropractor?

By being as sensible and healthy as I possibly can?

By making the investment of my time, money and willingness, my trust in the process?

By not giving up?

By visiting Amanzimtoti!

Yes!  We're due to visit there when we're able to book at Stella Maris...

Maybe I'll sleep now...

And... What do you really, truly desire?