Interesting Question... And Singular...
Well, right now... Perhaps the gift of my back, hip being sorted out?
My back's been bothering me since we got home almost a year ago.
I think I unsettled it some time either on the journey home, or in settling down here again.
I've been to the kinesiologist, that didn't sort it, though my visit was comforting.
Then, during the December holidays I phoned the chiropractor I used to go to before we left.
He was already on holiday for the Christmas/New Year three/four weeks.
I phoned a very local chiropractor and visited twice. His massage machine
was too rough on my poor aching back.
I decided not to go back for any more treatments.
I had to rest, flat on my back, early afternoon each day to be able to make it through the day.
I can do what I have to do... so that was not very inconvenient...
I continued to think about what to do and pray about my back.
Then stage five lock-down happened.
My resting every day, thinking and praying about my back continued.
As lock-down eased I phoned the chiropractor I used to go to again.
He was practicing again.
I went a couple of times. His treatments felt too soft to attend to the problem.
I stopped going again... continuing to rest every day, think, and pray about my back.
Then Glenn had some kidney stone problems.
I had to take him to the Medgate Centre for some Covid 19 tests before
being admitted to hospital for surgical blasting of the stone.
I saw a chiropractor sign there.
After thinking some more and praying about it, I made an appointment with him.
I went there three times.
Only on the third visit, when I said this was the last time I was coming did he
manage to attend to the breath-catching wearying aching spot in my back.
Why did I decide I wasn't going back there?
I don't know how to describe it...
In my training we discussed "potency" of the practitioner.
I felt like I was more use to the chiropractor in terms of potency than he was to me.
I felt like I was more use to him than he was to me.
I felt like I was not sufficiently satisfied with the "return on my investment"
of submitting my body to his treatment, my time and my money.
I'm not sure how to articulate it...
I feel like I answered more of his questions than he attended to my need/s.
Anyway... He said "You need to invest in your back-health" on my final visit.
I though that was an odd thing to say...
I thought "Maybe he is right? Maybe I am being too hasty?"
After postponing a further appointment twice to be surer in myself
I phoned and said I was definitely not going back.
I continued to rest every day to make it through the day, think about what to do,
and pray about my wearying, aching, breath-catching "back situation."
Is it psychosomatic?
Is it metaphysical?
Is it physical?
What do I need to learn?
What do I need to do?
Do I need to change anything?
Is this it?
Do I need to live like this for the rest of my life?
Why am I in 'The School of Pain' again?
Who do I need to meet?
Who needs to meet me?
Where do you want me to go dear Lord?
What do you want me to do?
I think I go about my life a lot on instinct? Inspiration? Experience?
I live each day in contented, peaceful, cautious confidence.
Does that make sense?
I try to be aware at multi-levels of my being - physical, emotional,
spiritual, financial, capacity, social, delight, weather, safety, comfort etc.
Anyway...
Comes Spring 2020... And the need to dig in the garden.
My relatively unstable left hip nagged at me.
It has bothered me mostly on, and sometimes off, since I slipped
on some wet polished steps when I was a young missionary.
"I really need to do something about this!"
So I searched on the internet for a chiropractor.
Why not... I like to solve my problems... for a time, if not for good.
I felt impressed to contact a man at May Clinic, fairly nearby.
I've been three times so far.
This has been chiropractics like I've not experienced before.
He's sorted out my shoulder problem from falling down the stairs at the Temple.
He's correcting my posture.
Relearning is uncomfortable as well as encouraging.
I realise I've compensated and compensated to be as comfortable as possible.
He said I might be in more pain along the way...
Well, I have been since my third treatment last Friday.
I feel light-headed and off-balance. Maybe twisted?
I go again tomorrow.
I'm hopeful... I continue in hope. Faith in every footstep.
If I have to live my life with little or no improvement, well, I can.
I understand why people use walking sticks...
If I have to, I will.
But, there you are... that's the gift (singular) I really truly desire right now...
For the rest of my life... I am truly blessed.
And what I can't change, is not mine to change, I leave in God's hands.
He can do His will.
I'll be content to live my life for Him, doing the best I can every day.
Is this a gift I need to give myself?
I'm doing the best I can to give it to myself - with others' help.
How can I be ready to receive this gift?
By being open to receiving it?
By co-operating with the chiropractor?
By being as sensible and healthy as I possibly can?
By making the investment of my time, money and willingness, my trust in the process?
By not giving up?
By visiting Amanzimtoti!
Yes! We're due to visit there when we're able to book at Stella Maris...
Maybe I'll sleep now...
And... What do you really, truly desire?
No comments:
Post a Comment