Focus - 2019

– from “Alive Again” notebook

1/1         Question…What will I give my life to and for each day of 2019?         

8/1         Grow.  Growth provides me with valuable experience.

15/1       Stop complaining.  It’s time to get my house in order.

22/1       Deal with ‘it.’  I may not like ‘it.’  Find a way to deal with ‘it’ anyway.

29/1       Accept.  The key to surviving change is to accept its inevitability.

5/2         Change.  Some changes will take generations after me to yield a harvest from seeds I

              plant this week.

12/2       Choose wisely.  Consequences come sooner or later as a result of my inactions, as 

              well as actions. 

19/2       Be aware.  My role is to prepare the way for those who choose to follow me.

26/2       Death is certain.  The hour is uncertain.  I will make good use of every hour, every day. 

5/3         Ask.  Can I do it?  Will it work?  Is it worth it? 

12/3       Be a “success seeker” rather than a “failure avoider.”

19/3       Be me.  It takes courage to be myself, to be different, to be who I am sent here to be.

26/3       My trials can be for my good - when I consecrate my performance to being good and 

              doing good.

2/4         Know.  Violation of trust and denial of truth: will lead me to diminished options and 

              opportunities.

9/4         Focus on my realistic plans for my future rather than moping about and wallowing in 

               my past.

16/4       I will increasingly love the flawed and imperfect person I am – and make progress 

              every day.    

23/4       I will do a five-minute favour – for someone else as I am able, and for myself when I 

              need it.

30/4       I will make time for the talented part of me to work on my passion and be innovative. 

7/5         Choose a small, favourite object.  What can this help me remember when my anxiety 

               wells up?

14/5       Creative thinking can help me make any space I live in better, and more beautiful.

21/5       Imagine.  Change has to first start in my mind.

28/5       Help myself and others.  Have a plan, a purpose.

4/6         Who can I enable to succeed?  Find one person.  Then another.

11/6       Boldly transform.  Put people before things.  Put myself before my possessions.

18/6       Get to know someone new.  Look into their eyes.  Watch them.  Listen to them.

25/6       Get support from someone capable when my going gets tough. Ask for help!

2/7         Learn.  Start every day with “What can I learn today that will bless my life?”

9/7         Don’t repeat myself.  Make every word of my sentences count. 

16/7       Be prepared - to be amazed!

23/7       Get on with the people in my life.  Learn how to get on better with them.

30/7       Enjoy some music - Music can make me more at peace with my world.

6/8         Don’t be one of them.  There are always “people chirping in the side-lines.”

13/8       Say farewell consciously.  You never know when it is for the last time.

20/8       Talk about “the lessons I have learnt,” rather than my failures.

27/8       I can do this… Be polite, assertive and fair with people who have different ways, 

              different opinions.   

3/9         My life is my story.  I am the main character in it.  How is my story unfolding this week?

10/9       My fears have images. The ones I choose to allow space in my life will influence my 

              choices.

17/9       Beware.  Do not be blinded by certainty – someone else’s, even my own.

24/9       Live abundantly - within my resources!  Financial, emotional, physical, social, spiritual, 

              vocational.

1/10       Remember to return everything borrowed – in an improved condition than when I 

              borrowed it.

8/10       Stop!  Cease blaming other people. Press forward – steadfastly.

15/10     Admit when I make a mistake.  Do what I can to make reasonable amends for it.   

22/10     Give clothes I do not wear anymore to someone else.

29/10     Walk every day – take a thirty-minute walk at least every week, and also as often as 

              possible.

5/11       Strive for improvement and excellence – not perfection.

12/11     Be punctual.  Be early rather than late.

19/11     Don’t argue.  Get yourself organised.

26/11     Take time-out every day to be alone.  Learn to be alone without being lonely.

3/12       Cultivate good manners that serve me well across cultures.

10/12     Realise – Life is Not Fair.  It is what it is. Learn to navigate and negotiate my 

              way forward.

17/12     Know when, why, and how to keep my mouth shut.

24/12     Take the time, make the time, to be holy.   

31/12     Reflect.  Think about what I learnt from this past year.  Plan for a better 2020.

Mom's Biscuits

Biscuits – Philippa Powrie (Judy Bray’s Mother)

(there was always a roll of biscuit dough in the freezer – wonderful for unexpected visitors – 

4 minute oven warm-up and 12 minutes max baking… 

and there would be fresh biscuits! Selena, my Mom’s helper, used to make the dough –

 this is her method developed over time from the original recipe.)

250 + 30g butter                                    half melt     (we don’t know why the extra 30g…)

4 cups sugar                                         stir in

5 teaspoons vanilla in a cup

fill up to ¾ cup with milk (less milk?)     add to above

4 eggs                                                 

6 cups flour

7 teaspoons baking powder                   sift into bowl, add liquid

2 teaspoons salt                                   

Bake at 180 - 200C in TEAspoonsful, 6 at a time (they spread,) on a baking sheet or…

 – even better…

form into sausages with circumference of 6 – 8cm

loosely wax paper wrap each sausage in so that they do not stick together…

(if the mix is wettish sometimes I roll each sausage in flour to make it easier to handle)

put in freezer to harden - or keep there until whenever needed

When baking:  set oven to 180 - 200C

When the oven is ready,

take out a sausage of well chilled biscuit dough,

cut into 1/3 cm rounds,

place 6 on buttered baking sheet,

brush with melted butter and bake – 

the biscuits will “rise” then plop and brown around the edges… 

that’s when they are ready.  (We timed 8 - 12 minutes, depending on the oven.)

Remove from the baking sheet immediately

allow to cool on a cooling rack.   Enjoy!

MOM’s ORIGINAL RECIPE

 3 cups sugar

250g butter                               grate into sugar blend

4 eggs

4 teaspoons vanilla                    put in and mix thoroughly, add to above

8 tablespoons milk

6 cups flour

7 teaspoons baking powder

2 teaspoons salt                        blend together, mix to above                             

roll into sausages, cover with wax paper, put in freezer to harden

cut from frozen into thinnish slices

Bake 180C – 200C about 8 – 10 minutes, depending on your oven

Stick together with apricot jam (optional) and/or dip ½ of round in melted chocolate – 

Fabulously decadent for special occasions…!         

We Went Home For Christmas...

I wondered if I would want to stay there!
As it happened, I loved being there, and was glad to come back -
Having started the history of the construction of the Durban Temple,
I dearly want to finish it, if at all possible.

Before we left, we drove through to Amanzimtoti for Glenn to fit a fan light
in Vi/'s bedroom/John's study, 
He also fitted two outside security lights -
one outside their bedroom window on the bush side, and one outside their bathroom.
Ladder work... tiring...

We took some time to rest and then started our journey -
the weather was gorgeously cool and cloudy.

We arrived home safely...  

Always a pleasure to complete an 'uneventful' and safe journey...

Each time we have returned there is some progress in what needs to be done.  

This is the entrance hall.  

Front door not accessible at present - no fuss, we used the laundry and back door.

This is the piano room - I could access part of my cupboard in there. 

I decided I would sew some curtains for our new bedroom.  

We bought the block-out fabric.  

I asked if Nadia knew where my sewing machine was.  

From her answer I understood it was in this pile against the wooden door. (in the background.) 

I decided I'd rather borrow her's than try and unpack all that stock-pile to find 

my sewing machine.

Then it was a case of getting used to hers!  

After her needing to help me a couple, or more, times to thread her machine, 

she suggested we find mine.  

She went to the door opposite the old bathroom door - the one leading to the passage.  

I was surprised!  

There were shelves against it!  

She moved the plastic shelving unit and opened the door! 

 A storage space!  

Doug has boarded a divider making two sides of the house as we originally planned.  

There, amidst some of the things moved from the other side of the house, 

I found my sewing machine, fairly easily accessible.  

I was so happy to use my beloved sewing machine again!  

Many happy memories using my machine!

For the record... below is the space in front of the north glass doors in our new bedroom.  

Also stockpiled with chairs, and other goods for now.  

Our bed is against the cupboards for now.  

A view the other way towards our new bathroom en suite.  

Cabryn does her school work at the dressing table/desk to the right of the picture.  

The plastic banks of drawers are Nadia's.  

This down-sizing for both of us is a sobering exercise!

The view from the bathroom door - the windows on the left overlook the pool.  

Lovely view!  Eventually our bed will be where the plastic drawers are now.  

We will be able to sit up in bed and look out on the pool.

On Christmas eve we drove through to Springs to spend the evening 

with Lowell and Joanne's family.  (Nadia's brother and sister-in-law)  

I liked this simple fountain in the front garden area.

A lovely meal for many people!  

Lowell and Joanne's family of six, Doug and Nadia's family of six, 

Joanne's parents and a grandmother, Joanne's brother, 

Nadia's mother Erene, and grandmother Miriam and the two of us.  

Two long tables full of cheerful people.  

Lowell and Joanne were lovely hosts.

After supper there was a present for each...

Christmas morning we joined Doug and Nadia in the flat.  

Nadia loves Christmas!  

This year the presents for their children were in boxes arranged like reindeers. 

Many presents inside the boxes to form each reindeer...

Hat's off to Nadia... She had fourteen people for Christmas lunch...

Their six, her mother and gran, the two of us and four missionaries.

The table was set under the carport.  It was heatwave weather!

I was anxious... I wondered whether we might be bothered by random beggars.  

I prepared seven parcels for them...  Not a one!  Things must be changing...

And no dustbin collecters knocked for a "Christmas box"...

Things must be changing...

I am an optimist - I feel like they are changing for the better...

I hope I am right...

After lunch, Jarom (now driving!) and I went to visit Joyce John, 

a (newly divided from Florida 1) Discovery Ward sister in hospital.

We couldn't find her there.

When I visited a few days later with Angel Simon I discovered 

she had booked in under her maiden name something like Darnia Hoodia.  

No wonder Jarom and I couldn't find her!

We actually looked in each hospital room...

And she looked so unlike herself, I didn't recognise her 

when I looked in the room she was in.

My mission each Christmas is to keep sane if I possibly can... 
I baked cookies for everyone I gave gifts to and shared my mother's recipe with each. 

After Christmas Doug, Nadia and family, and Glenn and I,
went and had supper at Spur together and to see the new Mary Poppins movie
at Siverstar Casino complex near Krugersdorp for our Christmas gift to them.

In My Kitchen

For some reason I don't understand yet...

I am motivated to write on my blog again.

So - here is what I have in my kitchen area.

As i work there, I glance at these - they help me remember what is important to me every day.

I am passionate about - my family, living meaningfully and peacefully, being as physically healthy as possible, remembering who I am and who I am not, managing my mental health.

These are on my fridge-

This is the newest poster I compiled.  I love collages.  I love gathering bits and pieces from here and there and all sorts of sources and putting them together in a new way that 'speaks' to me.

Long ago, when Douglas was going into the defence force I was filled with dread and horror.  I had no idea into whose hands I was giving my precious son whom I had nurtured as carefully as I knew how.  I realised I believe he is also the son of my God.  I 'handed him over' to his Father who could be where I could no longer be in his life.  In the subsequent years I have handed each of my children into the hands of Jesus Chirst - whose disciple I choose to be - and whom I hope they will consider their Saviour too.  These pictures remind me that I have given each of them 'into His hands.'

The picture of Jesus with a boy is for Douglas,  Jesus with the boy in His arms and the girl holding His hand is for Angela and unusual- needs Samuel.  The big picture of Jesus with the blond girl is for Gillian - it is the first picture I put up a long time ago.  The picture of Jesus hugging the girl is for Dianne.  Douglas' and Dianne's pictures I have changed since I started.  I like these two pictures better to represent Jesus with them.  For years I looked for a girl with reddish hair.  I simply yellow- highlighted this girls brown hair and now it has a reddish hue.  The circle is from a very long ago Oprah magazine.  It has HOPE engraved on it.  I hope for each of my precious children.  The feather in it is my private thrill of remembering when I see a feather that angels are around us all the time.  I know... real angels do not have feathered wings...  I just like to remember whenever I see a feather, wherever I am.  The angel keyring is what I gave each of my daughters, including Nadia for Christmas, last year.  "Make the everyday day extraordinary" reminds me that I never know when my last day will be.  I want to have an extraordinary day every day.  If nothing has made it extraordinary by four pm each day, then I do something that will make it extraordinary for me.  My every day is extraordinary to me.

I love pictures and symbolism and colours.  The lady sitting in the bottom left picture is from an article about depression.  I am inclined to be depressed if I am not alert.  I consider "Depression" as a messenger to me that "Something in my Life Needs to Change!"  I take the Time-Out I need when I need extra Time-Out.  I take at least an hour Time Out early each morning to 'pre-set' myself for the day - remind myself of what is important to ME and how I want to live this beautiful day before me.

I love the quote by President Gordon B Hinckley.  I love the poster of the armour of God from a New Era magazine - I think - a long time ago.  I found this on the internet nd made a copy.  I loke the other list of questions to ponder - I move the prestik to a new one and a new one to consider.  The four green strips are from a book I read about being a wild woman.  I am at heart.  They remind me to be myself, my best self.  "It's time" reminds me to take seriously a commitment I made a very long time ago.

I loved this when I saw it.  I cut it out and stuck it where I can see it.  I love each new day.  I love it when wonderful things happen.  Wonderful things do happen each day - I breathe, I move, I see, I hear, I taste and I, my skin, inner and outer layer (inside and outside of my body) experiences sensation, I think, I read, I love, I pray, I create... and a whole lot more.  I am very blessed.  And thankful.

Poster January and November 2018

This poster was done in Relief Society in January 2018.

I have enjoyed having it in my kitchen.

Today I am home - with two or three styes in my left eye.

I decided to make another poster.

I don't have many resources here... but I love this poster.

I trust it will gladden my heart for a few months.

Durban Botanic Garden

Discordia and Harmonia:

On Monday the site was noisy with the type of noise that frays my imperturbability. The TLB was rumbling about. The bobcat was shifting soil to the fountain area in front of the Temple - not far from our office. The hand-driven compactor was following it.

I thought "I just have to get away from here."  I remembered I needed to fetch my Botanical Society membership card from the Durban Botanic Garden office (held there at my request, for me to collect instead of them posting it to Gauteng.) I parked in the fairly empty car-park.
Established 1849... 169 years old... The huge trees felt comforting. "They will be here long after I am gone..." 
I walked past the cracks in the brickwork where peace-in-the-home was growing. "I hope I can grow peace where there are age-cracks in my life..." 

I strolled past the bouncy trees. I remembered Cheryn and Zeek bouncing there when they were little. I felt quite tearful. "They are all so far away..." 

I picked up this seed and that - ones I don't have in my collection in La Lucia "I am constantly amazed at the variety of colour, shape and texture! I'm so glad to live and see all this beauty!"


I saw the most gorgeous vine with drooping red (whatever you call them) "What a wonderful creation - thank you Heavenly Father..."

The stillness was SO welcome. I collected my card. I wandered around the garden. 

I looped past where Angela Simon and we met - was it two years ago?! "I'm grateful for good and kind friends..." 

I noticed the Petrea vine "My Mom loved Petrea. She planted in our garden what she could of what she loved wherever she went..."

I went on remoter paths I haven't been on before... "I'm grateful for the security men I see walking around... I feel safe enough to breathe freely, go where I want to, and relax..." 

I watched the ducklings - so sweet... just going about unafraid under the watchful eye of their mother... "I'm glad for being able to pause and watch them."

I left in time to miss the afternoon rush-hour-traffic..

I'm glad I went.

I felt like my Time Out Of Time was just what I needed.
I felt my well-being and balance was restored.