Lasting Influence

Sunday Afternoon March 29^th 2020 

I was reading this week in the Book of Mormon about Enos and how he went hunting, and remembered the words his father said…

This morning I was saying to Glenn “I miss my relationship with my Dad… He often would make comments that really made me think differently.”

He once said “Judy is our night-time perambulator…”  in the most natural and matter of fact way.  No criticism or praise...  That helped me see who I was in his eyes.  I still perambulate in the night-time sometimes… I guess that’s just a part of who I am.  I realized I get alone-time in the night when others are sleeping.  Of course… there is a price to pay – now I give myself a break then next day when I’ve been awake during the night.  Night time is also very good undisturbed thinking time.

He once asked me “Do you ever think about the person you are speaking to on the phone? … where they are while you are talking, what they’re doing…”  No – I never thought that before… Now I sometimes do.

I’m glad he was my Dad.  We spent some very good times together.  We made some good memories  when we reasonably could – considering his life and mine.  I’m glad I had no regrets when he died.  I meaningfully visited with him every week – by letter, phone call or actual visit.

I’m grateful for those I choose to live with.  I’m grateful for my husband.  We are so very different, and between the two of us we’ve knocked off some rough edges and made a good and peaceful life together.  I hope our children feel and come to appreciate the benefit of who and what we were able to be along our individual and family journeys when we were raising them.  Some families walk a dangerous walk together, some a disastrous.  We chose the risk of working out our differences and problems whilst staying together.  It was potentially greatly refining for both of us, and each of our children.  No going back and changing anything… onward, ever onward we go…

There were others who blessed and influenced me along the way.  All of them imperfect, I could identify their flaws easily… nevertheless each was a comfort, an encouragement, a teacher and a blessing to me on my journey to increasing maturity.

My heavenly Father – Thank You for your patience with and trust in me.

I’m discovering more and more, about what really matters most, every day.

There’s so much to learn!  I’m delighted I’ll never run out of things to learn!

My family of origin.  They have known me for the longest time of my life.

Lionel Bibb - he blessed his own family, and me too.

My husband.  I discovered in my studies, unless we learn better, we 'instinctively' choose who we need to learn from and with.  Usually someone ‘like’ the parent we had the most challenge with.  We get to figure out as an adult what we could not when we were children in our original circumstances.

Douglas, Angela, Dianne and Gillian.  I’ve learnt so much from and with you.  I believe you agreed to come to us and ‘help’ us along as we ‘help’ you along. You also ‘know’ me inside and out.

Our extended families – I appreciate the new dimensions and experiences you bring into my life.

I’m grateful Glenn and our children haven’t given up on me.  Thank you.

Sylvia Poss – my main FAMSA trainer - for many years.

Linda Brown – a significant turning-point FAMSA trainer.

My LifeLine trainers - also over many years.

Chris Golden – our home teacher, then our Stake President.

A senior missionary Sister at the Missionary Training Centre – I don’t remember her name.

She told me about a moment in her relationship with her husband. 

She said she had occasion to say to him  “If you can’t and don’t appreciate me, you’ll lose me.”

The scriptures, and teachers, and commentators on the scriptures.

General Conference and other church leaders talks.

Many, many church talks and classes through many years.

The church magazines, and other good magazines.

Many authors of books I have been blessed to learn from – either in formal- or self-study.

I continue to learn.  Every day!  Amazing!

I continue to choose to become more and more my unique, special and irreplaceable self.

I continue to live the best way I know how, every day, for most of it, almost all the time.

I’m not perfect yet…

I still have a long way to go.

And - I’m a whole lot more mature than I was able to be earlier in my life.

Thank you each for the good I have gleaned from each of you.

Thank you all those who have not given up on me.

Whose words have had a lasting influence on you?

I love you.

Mom / Judy

Now that watermelon is scarce…

Delicious and nutritious papaya and banana!

Carrot and Potato Hash Browns

Grate:

2 Carrots

2 Potatoes

Chop and add to above:

1 onion

Chop and add to above: (Optional)

Spinach/broccoli/cabbage

Add to above: (add more of each if consistency is too crumbly)

3 eggs

½ cup flour

Fold together.

Shallow fry in a pan.

Serve with salad.

Enjoy!

Reconciliation

Tuesday evening March 17^th 2020 midnight

You are all much in my thoughts this evening.
I am wide awake...

Sigh… How much has changed in one week!

We are in a stage of national lock-down here.

How are you doing with the corona virus pandemic?

It doesn’t really affect me much personally.

I’m loading with fresh fruit and vegetables – more than usual.

I believe this will bolster my immune system.

I’m fairly assured this will pass me by.

I still do the odd shopping when I need to.

I still have a lot of gardening and sorting out to do.

This gives me time to do it, and more incentive.

Our Tai Chi group in the Botanic Garden is 11 people,

and in the open air, so we went ahead this morning -

being sure to keep our reasonable distance from each other.

I love being there.  It’s part of my weekly refuge that enables me

to be human when I’m with other people at other times.

World-wide church meetings are suspended until further notice.

On Sunday we gathered at Erene’s home for a family sacrament meeting.

12 of us.  Doug, Nadia and three, her sister Kayla and husband,

Erene, Roisin (Nadia’s sister) and Erene’s mother, and the two of us.

It was a lovely personal experience.

Earlier in the day Glenn and I had our Sunday School discussion with each other.

This is the A4 poster I made in relation to Jacob 2 – our reading for this past week. 

And on we go – into this new week!

I think of you every day – and pray for you.  That’s what I do…

My roses are blooming gloriously this week!

An extra reason to think of you all – as though I need it…  I don’t.

I’m sufficiently reconciled and at peace with my circumstances of this time…

It’s all interesting actually.

Who would have ever thought…!

Sleep well.

I hope to now...

“Dream of me and you’ll have happy dreams.”

I'll dream of you and have happy dreams.

Love

Mom / Judy

In my on-going sorting out I found some of the big posters I have made… 

(Type in  "Posters" in the search-bar if you're interested)
(Or... here they are in the previous recent posts.)

I enjoyed making them, and I enjoyed seeing them again…

After the big ones I went to making small A4 ones that would fit in my journals.

Posters

In sorting out I found these large posters I've made over the years when the mood, 

or the need, takes me. Some are dated, some are not...

October 2008

August 2009

March 2009

April 2010

August 2010

November 2011

April 2012

January 2012

November 2012

November 2013

September 2013

November 2014

Old - undated 

Undated

Undated

Undated

Undated

After these large ones, I went to making A4 ones that would fit in my journal.

Old Posters

I'm clearing and cleaning - I came across my posters of years ago.

I'll be sad to let them go... But perhaps it is time...

At least I can record them here.

A long time ago there was a careers day at Relief Society.

Sisters were invited to do a table display of their career.

I thought "I'm a Mother... that's my career!"  So I made a poster...

And I also did some hours of Community Service per week...

So that's the second poster on my display table.

Persuasion

Tuesday 10^th March 2020 – Cabryn’s 15^th birthday!

We’ve had lovely times today…

We celebrated well!  Nadia sees to that…

Thank you Nadia for sharing your gifts and talents with us.

Persuasion

It’s been a different week…

I think our being home is deeply settling on me.

Also – I’m used to wearing a badge, and now we are released.

That’s another kind of adjustment too! 

I’ve been thinking about who persuades me – or tries to persuade me.

Of course the media… of all types… all around all the time…

I’m pretty impervious to that.

It’s taken determination, and persistence, and now I can let it flow over me or past me.

Sometimes shop assistants try… but not for long.  I don’t take much notice, unless I am interested and want to know more.

I can see or hear, and politely stop, and stop them..., shake my head, look away, turn away, or switch off, in a second or so.

Not really any person tries to persuade me anymore.

I wonder why?

Perhaps because they ‘know’ by my body language or some other intuitive,

subliminal way that I’m not persuadable?

I remember I had a friend who was flirted with every time I was with her.

I wondered why no-one ever, ever, tried flirting with me…

when I was with her, or on my own, or with any other person.

Maybe I never noticed it???

Thank goodness they never tried.  I would hate to be a ‘target’ or ‘object.’

I love being mercifully ‘invisible.’

It was hard for me getting used to people trying to see what my badge was all about.

I felt very visible.  And I got used to it.  

And could intelligently and courteously engage.

I’m very glad to have served…  I loved the adventure, opportunity and responsibility.

And - I’m glad to be released – it was time.

I must say… very occasionally these days, chocolate, or cake tries to persuade me…

My body just works so much better with a little, or without them!

They have largely lost their appeal for me, hold on me…

It’s about time!  I’m nearly 75!

Who or what tries to, or succeeds in, persuading you?!
Is it what you want?

I love you all - my precious family!

Mom / Judy

Pizza Dough Recipe

Pizza Dough

(I got this recipe from a young adult, Karen Webster, a long time ago.
Daughter of Rob and Rosemary Webster.

I wonder where she is now...

It works every time!) 

1 cup cake flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

1/3 cup oil

1/3 cup milk (or milk powder and water)

(I put the oil in and keep 1/3 cup milk (water if using milk powder) handy.

I add about a quarter cup and mix the dough with a spoon, and then the last of it if needed.

You get familiar with how it should ‘feel’ and work.

Soft, not sticking to your fingers, easy to work with.

Sometimes I add a little more flour, and sometimes a little more milk/water.)

Press into swiss roll pan or pizza pan

Spread tomato sauce over the dough

Top with whatever pizza toppings you want

Spread with cheese

Bake 180C for about 30 minutes – until pastry is golden brown and cheese is melted.

Chakalaka Chicken Recipe

Chakalaka Chicken – Very Easy!

This recipe came to me from Ronell (Dicks) Wrench (Steve Wrench’s wife.)

2 cups uncooked rice – spread in a baking dish/pan

Salt - sprinkle over rice

3 – 5 chicken breasts – (or cubed or minced beef) space evenly on rice

1 tin tomato and onion mix – spread over rice and chicken breasts

1 tin mild and spicy chakalaka – spread over rice and chicken

2 tins water – pour gently into dish

Bake uncovered 180C for an hour

Remove chicken, shred, return to dish.

 (I let the chicken cool enough so I can finger-shred it.)

(Add more liquid if necessary.)

Serve hot! - with green and/or yellow vegetables and mixed green salad.

Enjoy!

(When I served this last week to Nadia, Ethan, Daena and Cabryn,

they loved it and asked for the recipe.

I didn’t have chakalaka in my cupboard, but I had a tin of Indian Style tomato and onion mix.

I used that instead.  Very good!

Here is a chakalaka recipe for those who can’t find the tins in their stores:

You’ll get the idea of what you can put in and what the end result will be…

6 Roma tomatoes, halved

100 g cauliflower florets

2 cloves garlic, crushed

3 T olive oil

1 T oregano

1 carrot, sliced julienne

1 red bell pepper

1 onion

2 green, deseeded, chillies

1 t ground coriander

1 t ground cumin

1 t garam marsala

1 t curry powder

1 T turmeric

1 T oil

1 cup beef stock

Juice of 1 lemon

Salt and pepper, to taste

Weepy Week

The last stretch of my History was hectic.
I guess I was more wound up than I thought.

I watched a movie and wept and wept.
"Deep in my Heart" 1999

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJsCp2CDwwI

Then I read these stories that had me weeping again.

https://www.thechurchnews.com/members/2018-12-13/how-a-father-of-6-is-moving-forward-with-faith-and-forgiveness-1-year-after-his-wife-was-killed-by-a-drunk-driver-6299

https://www.thechurchnews.com/members/2018-12-13/spencers-shadow-how-listening-to-a-13-year-old-deacons-quorum-president-helped-this-father-with-his-autistic-son-6385

I was just tearful...

Lots to think about - again.

“Tears bring cleansing as if the emotional wound was being physically washed.” – Leslie Hands

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears on occasion, so that we can see Life with a clearer view.” - Alex Tan

I feel better today.

Sunday Afternoon - What Challenges Me?

Always a question for me… Do I need to do or be more? 

Or - Do I need to do or be less?

Sometimes it the first, and at other times the second.

I’ve felt somewhat dazed for some of this last week.

I have done intense hours and hours of editing of my Durban Temple Construction History.

It is finished at last and submitted for printing – 296 pages.

So, I’ve slowed down a little to let all the parts of me catch up

with each other and become integrated and balanced again. 

Sometimes the Physical races ahead, or the Intellectual,

Emotional or Spiritual, or the Social.

Sometimes one part of me lags behind… then the other parts slow down to integrate.

So, sometimes it takes noticing, wisdom, time and patience to get “all together!”

I’m thinking a lot about…

As I grow older, what might I need to be prepared for?

What will I do if I can’t drive anymore?

On my early morning trip to the Temple day before yesterday I decided –

I don’t want to drive to the Temple in the darkening early mornings.

It requires what feels like too much concentration.

Daylight driving needs another type of concentration –

but perhaps this is the better choice for me, for now.

I’ll figure out another session that will suit me for these darker early morning months.

Perhaps Glenn will be more able to join me at another session time too.

One Day at a Time!

Thank goodness we only have to actually live in day-tight compartments.

(And hopefully, many of them include eating a meal of delicious watermelon!)

What challenges you?

I love you all! 

May we each grow as we want to –

in grace and truth –

and all other ways we are able to.

Mom / Judy / Gran Judy etc.

I like this… I became aware of it many years ago…

Just For Today

I will choose…

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once.  I can do something for twelve hours.  It would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

Just for today I will try to be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said,  that most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

Just for today I will try to adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my desires.    I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.

Just for today I will try to take care of my mind.  I will strengthen my mind. I will study.   I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires a little effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will try exercise my soul in three ways:  I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count.

I will do at least two things I don't want to do just for exercise.

I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

Just for today I will try to be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit.

I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

Just for today I will try to have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.  I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, or bits of time that make up half an hour,  I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

I will think of GOD, myself, and of my neighbour.  I shall relax and seek some more of the truth.

Just for today I will try to stop saying “If I had time…”  I will never ‘find time’.   If I want it, I must make it.

Just for today I will try to be unafraid. I will not be afraid to enjoy what is good and beautiful.   

I will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

Just for today I will try to accept myself and live to the best of my ability.

Just for today I choose to believe I can live just this one day.

Alcoholics Anonymous

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The Courage to change the things I can…

And the Wisdom to know the difference

Reinhold Niebuhr